Ouch Ms Rowling! reading the books
by skywriter98
Summary: The Trio is wandering back from a DA meeting when seven books appear out of thin air, accompanied by a letter. Later that evening, Umbridge aka Umbitch by less than enthusiastic students steals them and announces that they will be read in the Great Hall. In front of everyone. Slightly OOC Harry, abusive Dursleys. Rated for naughty language and Molly Weasley rampage
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I am not J.K. Rowling. I am not rich, nor am I british. I own nothing lest of all the wonderous Harry Potter series. All that credit goes to her.

Ouch Ms. Rowling, - A reading the Harry Potter books fanfic

Chapter 1 – A Letter

Dolores Umbridge cackled as she signed another law against Werewolves, this one preventing them to gain a position within the Ministry or in any Ministry sponsored businesses.

"Now this'll prevent me from having to be near these filthy half-breeds at the Ministry," She said, furiously dotting the "i" in her last name with a large, pink quill.  
Unbeknownst to the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister a small boy with raven hair was wandering around the fifth floor on his way back from the Room of Requirement. This boy was Harry Potter and he was underneath an Invisibility Cloak with his two best friends in the world, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"Check the Map, Mione!" Harry whispered. Hermione pulled out a piece of parchment, tapped it, whispered _I solemly swear I am up to no good _and ink began skating across the parchment, forming a map of Hogwarts. She frantically checked for little ink people in their hallway and when she could find none nearby she whispered,  
"All clear,"

"Thank Merlin! I couldn't breath in there!" Ron said loudly, pulling off the Cloak with a flourish.

"Shh Ronald! This doesn't mean someone can't hear you!"

As Ron and Hermione began to bicker, Harry rolled his eyes and walked across the hall to look out a window at the darkened sky.

"Argh!" Harry yelped as something tumbled onto his head.

"Harry be quiet!" Hermione scolded.  
"Oh let me see you try and get hit by seven books on top of the head and not cry out in pain!" He snapped and got up, gathering the books. When he looked up Ron was staring at the books.  
"Bloody Hell! Look at the title Harry!"

Harry did so and gulped.  
_Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_

_Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_

_Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_

_Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_

_Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_

_Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_

_Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_

"What the Hell?!" Harry said angrily.  
"Harry…"

"No! No! This is about me! No I won't allow it, I won't have anyone knowing my thoughts!" Harry was about to storm off when a letter dropped into his hand, harshly.  
"Dammit! It gave me a paper cut!" Harry said, sucking on his wounded finger.

"Read it!" Ron urged. Harry slit open the letter and read its contents.

"Harry, you may not believe it, but I am You of the future! Ron, Hermione and I have worked together with this Muggle author J.K. Rowling (she is the mother of a Muggleborn Ravenclaw) to create this book series (actually these books have been published in the Muggle world and is probably the one of the most successful series' sold. Sorry, but these Muggle kids love it and well, it made you more of a popular subject amongst Muggleborns.) We have sent it here (thanks to Hermione) so that you can prevent unnecessary losses of lives.-" And here the writing changed.  
"- _And Harry's stupid and blames himself for ALL of them! He only killed Voldemort! That's it, no one else!_

Oh shut up Ron! It's true!  
_Want me to shut up? I'll tell you what he blames himself for._

Ron no!

**_Ron's right Harry,-" _**The writing changed again.

"-Not you too Mione!

_Harry blames himself for the death of:  
Cedric_

_Sirius_

_Mad-Eye_

_Tonks_

_Remus_

_Colin Creevey_

_His parents_

_Snape_

_Fred_

_Should I continue Harry?_

Oh for the love of Merlin, I am never using a Quick-Quotes-Quill again!

**_That's what Rita Skeeter said,_**

Be quiet Mione! Sorry about this… er Young Harry

_What are you, Yoda? Obi-Won-Kenobi?_

I knew Mione and I shouldn't have taken you to see Star Wars! Whatever Won-Won!  
_Argh don't you start that Ickle Harrykins!_

**_Harry that was a bit too far, I still can't stand that… witch…_**

_Mione, they are fifteen! We swear! She means to say_

**_Ronald!_**

_She means bitch!  
__**RONALD!**_

_Yeah, yeah Mione._

Alright, getting back on topic… bring this letter to Dumbledore. I will send him one, written by a REGULAR QUILL and not a Quick-Quotes-Quill.

_Aren't you just a quick learner._

Ron, Mione just… Argh just shut it!

You need to get these people into the Great Hall along with all the students. Trust me Um-Bitch is gonna use this as an excuse to get your 'lies'. So get all these people into the Room of Requirement for a 'briefing' and then head down to breakfast. The readings will start tomorrow. And Umbridge will know by the end of the night so… be prepared.  
These are those who need to know what's going to happen and get to the room. There will be letters delivered for each, during the first break.

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Ronald Weasley

Sirius Black

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Molly Weasley

Arthur Weasley

Percy Weasley

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Ginny Weasley

Draco Malfoy

Narcissa Malfoy (But never Lucius Malfoy)

Professor Snape (he's not what it seems)

Dobby the House Elf

Kreacher the House Elf

Nymphadora Tonks (sorry I had to use your first name Tonks!)

Neville Longbottom

Remus Lupin

Luna Lovegood

Professor McGonagall

Professor Flitwick

Hedwig (Hedwig won't get a letter)

Professor Sinastra (Won't get a letter)

Madame Hooch

Madame Pomphrey

Hagrid

Mad-Eye… er Alastor Moody

Kingsley Shacklebolt

Professor Vector (Won't get a letter)

Professor Sprout

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (sorry, just I think it's funny seeing it written out)

**_Alright, Harry please just take this to Dumbledore._**

**_Love,_**

**_Hermione_**

_Um no offense but I am not signing 'love' to a fifteen year-old GUY!_

_Good Luck, Mate_

Good Luck

Harry, Ron, and Hermione,"

Harry felt Ron and Hermione reading over his shoulder and they rushed up to Dumbledore's office where they were stopped by the Gargoyle.

"Password,"  
"What? For the love of Merlin… um… Lemon Drops?"  
"Chocolate Frogs?" Ron asked.  
"Acid Pops?"

"Blood Pops?"

"Gumdrops?"  
"Droobles Best Blowing Gum?"

"Fizzing Whizzbee's?"

"Sherbet Balls?"  
"Sugar Quills?"

"Yorkie Bar?"

"Crunchie Bar?"  
"Mars Bar?"  
"Sugar?"

"Fun Dip?" Harry asked and it jumped aside.  
"Hmm, he must always be on a sugar high then." Hermione pondered and they walked up to the spiral staircase to Dumbledore's door.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione, I trust you have received a letter from a Mr. Harry Potter from twenty-five years from now." Harry nodded and noticed the Headmaster still wouldn't look at him.

"Here sir." He handed him the letter. Dumbledore read it over, chuckling slightly and nodding gently.

"Okay, so tomorrow, before breakfast I will arrange for all the adults, elves… and Mr. Malfoy, and Ms. Lovegood to get to this room. I believe you can gather the Gryffindor students. I will contact the Weasleys tonight. I do think this will be a rather good idea myself,"  
"Yes sir, whatever you say is best." Harry said, with a hint of a snap to his voice.

"I cannot wait to be assigned more detentions from Umbridge for everything and losing hundreds of points."

"Don't worry m'boy, I will make sure there will be no further punishments for past actions. Or any in the first place." Harry nodded and the Trio left the Headmaster to think of how to fulfill his promise to Harry.


	2. A Briefing and The Vanishing Glass

Disclaimer- I am not J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter belongs to her, not me. I am the new owner of a Kindle Fire though.

Ouch Ms. Rowling – A reading the HP books fic

Chapter 2 – A Briefing and "The Vanishing Glass"

Once Dolores Umbridge returned from the Owlery, ("Disgusting beasts! Leaving their droppings everywhere!") She was struck with another idea.

"Aha! The filthy half-breeds shouldn't be able to even care for children! It isn't safe!" She hurriedly drafted out another law and was setting it aside to dry when a letter materialized in front of her.

"What on Earth…?" She blustered and opened it.

**_"Dear Ms. Umbridge,_**

**_It has come to our attention that Mr. Harry James Potter has received books about his life from age eleven on. This is our chance to expose his 'lies' in saying He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has returned. This is the conviction you have been looking for! Please bring everyone to the Great Hall at breakfast, including Cornelius Fudge and Aurors. _**

**_Signed, _**

**_A Friend"_**

Delores cackled and called a shrimpy house-elf Tippy to sneak the books out of Potter's possession overnight. As she dressed in a fluffy pink nightgown she smiled at all the little kittens along her walls. The kittens could tell she was planning something and meowed in support.

The next morning Harry awoke to his friend's frantic cries.

"Harry! Harry! Wake up! Someone took the books!"

Harry's eyes snapped open and he fumbled for his glasses.  
"Huh?" He sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Someone took the books,"

"What!?" Harry shoved his covers aside and leaped out of bed.  
"Nice boxers man," Ron snickered, turning away.

"What are you, agh dammit!" Harry turned bright red and quickly threw jeans on over his smiley face boxers.

Harry threw on a shirt and baggy sweatshirt.

"Don't we have to go to the Room?" He asked as he laced up his trainers.

"Yeah, let's head out." The two boys left the dorm and met up with Hermione in the Common Room.

"Look," She pointed to the notice board where a new sign was hanging over the usual announcements.

"By order of the High Inquisitor, every Hogwarts student shall report to the Great Hall for breakfast to read the truth about Harry Potter"

"Oh my god, she is actually doing this." Harry moaned.

"Well, what were you expecting Harry? Now, let's get to the Room of Requirement," Hermione said and they left the Common Room. When they arrived at the Room they spotted a relatively large sitting room full of some of his favorite people in the world (and Snape and the Malfoys).

There was Remus and a large, black dog.  
"Sirius!" Harry yelled and ran towards the dog. The dog transformed to a tall man with flowing black hair and stormy gray eyes.

"Pup!" Sirius Black, supposed mass-murderer rushed to embrace his favorite (and only) godson.  
"Argh! Sirius Black!" Yelled Draco and Narcissa Malfoy.  
"Oh can it, Ferret!" Ron snapped.

"Watch it Weasel!"

"Boys! Enough, now Sirius Black is innocent and was framed by the Animagus Peter Pettigrew who helped resurrect Voldemort last June." Dumbledore said, always a peacemaker.  
"Of course only you would be foolish to transform before the Headmaster explained Mutt," Snape sneered.  
"Watch it Snivellous!"

Snape was about to snap a retort when Remus cut in.  
"Severus, Padfoot we aren't here so you can squabble like schoolboys!"

"Who asked you, werewolf!?" Snape shot.  
"Really, that low of a blow Severus?" Remus said quietly, but the hurt was evident in his eyes.  
"How dare you mock him for that?! You think you had a hard life?! Moony's family kicked him out after he was bitten!" Sirius snarled.  
"Padfoot! Why the Hell would you mention that?! I told you and the other Marauder's because you said you wouldn't mention it to anyone!" Remus' eyes were turning yellow now, a tell-tale sign he was approaching wolf.

"I didn't…" Snape started.  
"Of course you didn't! It wasn't until Padfoot mentioned it that anyone but the teachers and my best friends knew! Padfoot you are very lucky that you will be turning into a dog until the end of Harry's third year because I am unbelievably angry at you." Remus took a deep breath and turned to the rest of the room.  
"I am sorry for losing my temper. I will be waiting outside of the room, I need to cool off before Moony takes over." He said this very calmly but there was anger underneath his carefully calculated words.

He left the room and Harry turned to Sirius.

"Is that true?"  
Sirius sighed and nodded. Harry quickly followed Remus out of the room, leaving the others in the room to talk to Dumbledore.

"Remus?" Harry asked.  
"Harry this isn't exactly the best time…" Remus started to say more but Harry cut him off.

"I know how you feel. The Dursleys I mean. They got very close to kicking me out after each bout of accidental magic. They made me do everything and would even knock me about for being abnormal. For being a freak. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone." Harry left and Remus slowly absorbed his words, his anger at Sirius dissipating and the anger at Harry's relatives growing.

Once everyone walked outside Remus went up to Harry.  
"What do you mean they knocked you about?"  
Harry paled.  
"Um, I don't remember… I don't… Um… Hey Padfoot! Wait up!" Harry mumbled and ran up to his favorite big, black dog.

Remus growled but decided to let it slide until it was mentioned in the book. If it didn't mention it, well he'd have to talk to Harry.

"Hang on!" Tonks called as they neared the Great Hall.

"What?" asked Snape impatiently.

"It'll look suspicious if all-" She did a quick headcount.

"All twenty plus of us walk in at the same time?"  
"Nice thinking Tonks," Remus complimented and she blushed.

"All right, Draco, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George, all of you can go in right now. How about the professors go in, say five minutes from now and the rest of us a little later?" Everyone seemed agreeable to this so the school-age children walked into the Hall, not knowing what to expect.  
The Hall was split up normally, but the High table was far larger. All the students were at their according House Tables and Umbridge was sitting with Fudge on her left and Auror Dawlish on her right. Harry was surprised to see many of the Order there including Kingsley Shacklebolt and Hestia Jones. He supposed Dedalus Diggle was so outlandish that he wouldn't be in favor with the Ministry.

Harry, Ron, Hermione and the Weasley children sat around each other at the Gryffindor table. The Trio sat side-by-side with Ginny and the twins across. When the rest of the Weasley clan entered the room with their parents, Remus, Padfoot, Tonks and Mad-Eye, Bill and Charlie sat with the rest of the Gryffindors. Remus sat far from Umbridge and her cronies with Padfoot at his feet and Tonks next to him. They were deep in conversation and kept flashing dangerous glances towards Umbridge. Mad-Eye sat on Tonks' other side and grunted when the conversation led to him.

"Hem hem!" Umbridge coughed. The students jumped and glared at their least favorite DADA teacher ever, (funny considering that two of them were working for Lord Voldemort).

"Now, we have received books which are going to finally unveil the lies that _Mr. Harry Potter _has been telling all of us. These books are completely true, and show that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hasn't returned and never will. Mr. Potter is lying." The twins were outraged, but it was Ron whose temper boiled over.  
"Harry isn't lying!"  
"Weasley! Respect your teachers and hold your tongue!" Fudge roared.

"But-" But Harry was the one who stopped him this time.

"Stop!" He hissed.  
"Don't give that toad an excuse to give you a detention!"

Ron sighed and sat back down and refused to look at the toad's satisfied smirk. Remus, who had enhanced hearing was worried. He thought Ron was too mad to let the threat of detention stop him. There was something ominous behind these detentions, he could tell.

"Now, I believe the Minister should read the first chapter." She handed the book to Fudge with one hand manicured in garish pink.

"Thank you Delores," Fudge looked over the page and whispered something to Umbridge. She nodded then used a spell to enhance her voice.  
"The first chapter seems to be background information so we shall read chapter two first."

She nodded to Fudge

**~"THE VANISHING GLASS"~ **Fudge read.

**~Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step,-~**

"Hang on, Albus, you left him on the front step? On the FIRST OF NOVEMBER!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Mrs. Weasley snarled.  
"Well, it was all for the best…" The Headmaster said quietly. Mr. Weasley patted his wife's hand to calm her down, but Molly was still seething.

**~-but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all.~**

"Boring!" The Weasley twins chorused.  
"Misters Weasley! Be quiet and let the Minister read!" Umbridge scolded while the Lee Jordan and Ginny snickered at Fred and George's antics.

**~The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls.~**

"BORING!" The twins shouted again and McGonagall scolded them this time.  
"Fateful news report? Overdramatic much?" Draco scoffed.  
"Overdramatic? Look who's talking Ferret! _'My father will hear about this?'_" Ron said in a high-pitched voice. Malfoy's face tinged pink and Narcissa inwardly groaned.  
_So he's been using his father as a threat and an excuse._

**~Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets-~**

"Hang on, Harry, wasn't your cousin a boy?" Ginny asked. Harry nodded. She and the rest of the Gryffindor table (along with the Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and even some of the Slytherin table)

**~- but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.~**

"Why not?" Tonks asked, confused but Harry just shook his head and looked down at his thin hands. Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks. It was rare for them to see Harry like this.

**~Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long.~**

"Why?" Asked Dennis Creevey.

**~His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.~**

Snape inwardly winced. _It sounds like Tuney hasn't changed a bit._

**~"Up! Get up! Now!"**

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.~**

"What a lovely way to wake up," Hermione said sarcastically.

**~"Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove.~**

"How would you hear that Harry? Your bedroom was on the second floor when we… visited… wasn't it?" Fred and George asked, surprisingly seriously.

Harry mumbled something incoherently as his head was in his arms on the table.

**~He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorbike in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.~**

"You remember tha' 'Arry?" Hagrid asked.

"I took ya to Dumbledore on Sirius' bike tha' day,"

Harry smiled weakly.

**~His aunt was back outside the door.~**

"Let him alone!" Charlie grumbled.  
"No offense mate, but your aunt sounds as bad as Auntie Muriel,"  
"None taken, she's worse I imagine," Harry muttered. Charlie frowned.

**~"Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

**"Nearly," said Harry.**

**"Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."~**

"Duddy?" The twins laughed.  
"There's worse names," Harry said with another weak grin. He was still very nervous.

**~Harry groaned.**

**"What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.~**

"He didn't _say _anything," Fred said.

**~"Nothing, nothing..."**

**Dudley's birthday - how could he have forgotten?~**

"Wouldn't you be excited Harry?" Remus asked and Harry slowly shook his head. The teachers frowned.  
_Why wouldn't Potter be happy for his cousin? Is he that selfish? Of course, he's a Potter. _Snape thought scathingly.

**~Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on.~**

"Ew! Why were there spider under your bed?" Ron shuddered. Harry just buried deeper into the sleeves of his baggy sweatshirt and braced himself for the eruption.

**~Harry was used to spiders,-~**

Fudge trailed off.

"Delores, these are accurate? They're the truth."  
"Yes of course Cornelius, why?"

McGonagall got frustrated (per usual) and looked over Fudge's shoulder and gasped and looked at Harry.  
"Mr. Potter is it true?"

Harry was fed up with the looks he was getting (and the ones he was sure to get) and stood up.  
"Yes, yes it is, now why don't you just finish the sentence and get it over with?!" He all but shouted.

"Please Professor," He added in a quieter voice.

McGonagall took a deep breath before reading over Fudge's shoulder again. Fudge looked quite flustered himself.

**~-because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.~**

"Sorry?!" The entire Weasley clan, minus Percy, roared.

"THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS!?" Roared Remus, his eyes a dangerous yellow.

The Ministry officials (minus the Order members) backed away a little.

"Please correct me if I am wrong, but did she say the BLOODY CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS!?"

He stood and rushed over to Harry.  
"IS THIS TRUE?" He shouted but immediately stopped as Harry flinched back.

"How long did you… sleep there?"

"Since I was out of a crib…" Harry whispered. Remus was even angrier but he saw Harry was eyeing him warily.

"Shh Cub, I won't let you back to them," Remus soothed him and slowly wrapped an arm around Harry. Harry stiffened but didn't squirm away.

Back up at the High table the Weasley matriarch and her husband were yelling at Dumbledore who looked quite withered and old.  
"What were you thinking?!"

"It was the best place for him." Albus protested lightly and the Weasleys bared their teeth and argued.

"Forgive me for barging in, Headmaster," Snape drawled.

"But usually where there is such serious neglect of a child it is most likely there is verbal, physical or any other type of abuse as well."

He glared at the headmaster.  
"I may not dote on Potter but I refuse to see any form of child abuse. You know my thoughts on this matter." He said angrily. Snape turned away from his mentor to talk with McGonagall.

"Alright! Everyone stop staring at him and let's continue the damn book!" Ron roared as he saw Harry paling.

He and Hermione tried to calm him.  
"Harry, c'mon you're fine, everyone's looking at the idiot in the bowler hat." Harry eventually nodded and lifted his head. Remus ruffled his hair once more and headed back up to the High table.

Fudge began to read again.

**~When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents.~**

"Dudley is so spoiled," Harry muttered bitterly.

**~It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted,-"**

"A what?" Asked a Slytherin.  
"A brilliant Muggle machine, along with the Internet." Hermione said immediately.  
"The Inter-what?"

She began to explain then just wrote it down on a piece of parchment with the phrase "Muggle terms" on the top.

**~-not to mention the second television and the racing bike.~**

They were added to the list.

**~Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry,-~**

"Us too Harry!" The twins chorused.

**~-as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise - unless of course it involved punching somebody.~**

"That better not have been you, mate." Fred growled. As far as the twins felt Harry was an honorary Weasley. And no one messes with their family.

**~Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast.~  
**All the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff house tables were glaring at the book. Even most of the Slytherins too. And almost all of the people glaring don't even believe Harry.

**~Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard,-~**

Padfoot and Remus growled and Moody grunted something about "God-damn Muggles can't even…" and a long line of profanities followed.

**~-but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.~**

"So was James," Remus put in and Padfoot barked in agreement, much to the dismay to Umbridge.

**~He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was.~**

Immediately the Hall turned to look at Harry who blushed a deep red. He really regretted wearing Muggle clothes this weekend.

**~Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair,-~**

"James" Remus said with a smile.

**~-and bright green eyes.~**

"Lily," Remus said and Snape whispered.

**~He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.~**

Padfoot growled.

**~The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.~**

"You liked your scar?" Ron asked, for as long as he'd known Harry, he hated it and all the attention it brought him.

"Well, it looked cool. I mean, I had no clue what it meant and symbolized. I thought a lightning bolt on my head was pretty cool." Harry shrugged and flattened his fringe over his thin, lightning bolt scar.

**~He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

**"In the car crash when your parents died," she had said.~**

"A CAR CRASH KILL LILY AND JAMES?! HOW DARE THEY!" Roared most of the adults that knew Harry's parents.

Harry's own fists were clenched so hard his knuckles turned white.

**~"And don't ask questions."**

**Don't ask questions - that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.~**

"That explains it then." McGonagall said, having calmed slightly from the last Dursley comment.

"Explains what Professor?" Harry asked.  
"Why you never ask for help in class. Even if you don't understand a concept." The other teachers (minus Umbridge) were nodding. Harry turned an even darker red. He hadn't thought any teacher noticed.

"Well I can always ask Hermione after class, we are in all the same… important classes." His gaze flicked to Trelawney who seemed to be on a usual LSD trip and didn't seem to notice.

"Even so," McGonagall began but Fudge continued to read.

**~Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon. ~**

"I still can't believe they made you cook! Since when!?" Molly seethed. Harry looked down at the table.  
"Since I was five… I had a stool to see,"

**~"Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting. ~**

"No gonna work!" Ron and Remus sang.

"Oh shut it you two!"

**~About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way - all over the place.~**

"Just like James," Surprisingly it was Moody who said this.

**~Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. ~**

"Gross," Lavender Brown wrinkled her nose.

**~He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.~**

"Ew!" The Patil twins exclaimed.

**~Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig. ~**

The Hall erupted in laughter.

"Brilliant Harry!" Fred and George roared in laughter.

**~Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. ~**

"Why not? With their son being the way he is, surely there would be a gigantic table." Ernie MacMillan said. The Hall laughed again, even though Ernie didn't mean it to be funny.

**~Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell. ~**

"Well, any amount of _proper_ presents was more than I ever got, _Dudders,_" Harry snarled.

**~"Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."~**

"For the love of Merlin, thirty-six presents!" Yelled Draco.

"Even I don't get _that _much!"

**~"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."~**

"Mummy and Daddy?" Asked Ginny. "How old is he?"

"It's his eleventh birthday," Harry said with a smile.

**~"All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.~**

"Has he done it before?" Tonks asked.

"More often than you think, I learned to cook more than needed, just in case and so I have enough. Well, had enough." Harry said, beginning to mumble and turn red.

**~Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?''~**

"Spoiled shit." Tonks growled.

**~Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty ... thirty..."~**

"How old is he?" Terry Boot asked.

"Like I said, he just turned eleven," Harry said.

**~"Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

**"Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled. "Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair. ~**

"He's encouraging this?!" Arthur said, outraged.

**~At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.~**

"Huh?" All the purebloods said.

"I will hold a class after this, explaining Muggle terms in full detail." Professor Charity Burbage said.

Students settled back, though some pureblood Slytherins who had been told to be against Muggles (but didn't buy it) were almost excited for the Muggle lesson.

**~He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried. ~**

"That doesn't sound good Harry," Hermione said.

Harry shivered.  
"It wasn't. Well the end of the day wasn't."

**~"Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him."~**

"_Him _has a name you know!" Colin Creevey said indignantly.

**~She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. ~**

"Why?" Astoria Greengrass asked.

**~Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind-~**

"They just left you behind? You didn't get to go?" Ron exclaimed.  
"Yeah, but it wasn't as bad as they could get. I don't really mind being left to myself. And if it was the Dursleys, well I'd rather it than be beat…" Harry cleared his throat with a nervous glance at the teachers who he could tell were clinging onto each word.  
"Beaten up by Dudley and his friends and stuff. I really like being by myself sometimes."

Snape sighed. He could tell that Harry, no, Potter, wasn't beat by just his cousin. McGonagall could tell as well.

**~-with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away. ~**

"Harry, she's a member of the Order," Hermione reproached softly.  
"Yeah, I know, but she just seemed like a batty cat-lady." Hermione cuffed him on the back of his head and Harry flinched.  
"Mione, don't do that!" Harry yelped, attracting Snape's gaze again.

_The boy is definitely hiding something._ He thought as he watched Potter flinch from a light tap on the head and shiver a bit.

**~Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned. ~**

Padfoot barked in agreement with Harry's dislike.  
"Well I kind of like cats Paddy, just not sniffing them." Harry said, smiling at the Animagus.

**~"Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.~**

The Hall laughed again and Harry blushed.

**~"We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

**"Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."~**

"And the feeling's mutual!" Harry snarled, angrily.

"Wait, Harry isn't that the one who…?" Ron said with a grin.  
"The very one," Harry snickered.  
"The one who what?" Tonks and Remus asked.

**~The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there - or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.~**

"They're the ones who are slugs," Fred and George protested.

"I don't like slugs much either." Ron turned green after his incident in his second year.

**~"What about what's-her-name, your friend - Yvonne?"~**

Harry shook his head.  
"She's awful," He said.

**~"On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

**"You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon. ~**

"She always looks like that."

**~"And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

**"I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening. ~**

"Of course they weren't." Hermione hissed.

**~"I suppose we could take him the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "... and leave him in the car..."~**

"He's not a dog!" Bill protested and Padfoot barked.

**~"That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone..."~**

"Of course, think of the car not the child." Flitwick complained.

**~Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying - it had been years since he'd really cried - but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.~**

"Of, course! Brat!" Snarled Charlie.

**~"Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him. ~**

"How'd she fit?!" Fred and George cried in unison.  
"She didn't. Even back then he was almost the size of a baby killer whale, he's even bigger now. In fact, he's wider than he is tall." The Hall began shaking with raucous laughter.

**~"I... don't... want... him... t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp- spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms. ~**

Growls sounded throughout the Hall.

**~Just then, the doorbell rang - "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically - and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. ~**

"Sounds like someone else we know, doesn't it Greddie?" George said.  
"Indeed Forgie! Looks like a certain blond rat we know." They pointed at Malfoy.  
"Watch it Weaselby!"

**~He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. ~**

"Little asshole," Harry snarled.

"He always grabbed me right in the… um… sunburns," Harry turned red again.

_Why can't I control what I say today? _He thought.

**~Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once. ~**

"Of course, can't have your best friend seeing you cry," Remus said angrily.

**~Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life.~**

"I rather like the zoo, I've only been once." Harry said, smiling down at his fingers.

**~His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

**"I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy - any funny business, anything at all - and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."~**

"He didn't, did he?" Molly ranted.  
"Well, considering he spent Christmas at Hogwarts, Mum." Ron said.  
"Has he done anything like that before, has he Potter?" Snape asked.

Harry mumbled.  
"Er, well, not around…"  
"Answer!"

"Yes! Fine he's locked me in for months with the excuse of mono! Happy?" Harry quickly covered his mouth and collapsed onto the table again.

**~"I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did. ~**

"Oh Harry!" Hermione cried and hugged him.  
"And none of that changed here, well adults-wise." Harry muttered.  
Remus, whose sensitive hearing picked up on what Harry said, frowned.

_What could he mean?_

**~The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.~**

"Ooooh! Is this some accidental magic Harry?" asked Ginny.

Harry nodded, nervously.

**~Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar."~**

"Wow, even James' mother didn't go _that _far!" Remus exclaimed.

**~Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses.~**

Most of the Hall growled at this and Harry's friends pulled out their wands, sparks flying out the ends.

**~Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.~**

"Wow! Could you be a Metamorphagus too?" Tonks asked.

"I'm not sure," Harry said with a shrug.

**~He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.~**

"They locked you in!?" Roared the teachers. Harry stared hard at the table.

**~Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls)-~**

"Gross!" Cried most of the girls in Hogwarts.  
_That sounds lovely for a small child. _Umbridge thought.

**~- The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished. ~**

"Tuney knows very well about accidental magic," Snape snarled.  
"Tuney? Sir?" Harry asked, perplexed.  
"I grew up near your mother and aunt's house," Snape sighed. Harry looked down again.  
_I guess I really know nothing about my parents. _He thought with a sigh.

**~On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. ~**

"Huh? How?!" Asked a bunch of first years.

"You'll see," Harry groaned.

**~Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney. ~**

"Wow Harry!" Dennis and Colin chorused.

**~The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. ~**

"They locked you in again!?" Growled the Weasley parents.

Harry stared down the table, examining the grains in the wood.

**~Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid- jump. ~**

"Even you aren't that skinny, Harrykins," The twins said.  
"Wouldn't bet on it," Snape muttered. He planned to make Potter remove the Glamour he could see, at the first break.

"You flew Mr. Potter?" Asked Vector, surprised. Harry shrugged and the teachers were very impressed.

**~But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.~**

The children looked over at Harry with pity in their eyes. Harry didn't move his eyes from the table.

**~While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects. ~**

"Looks like he likes to complain Gred," Fred said.  
"Most especially about our little brother Forgie," George said.

**~This morning, it was motorbikes. ~**

Padfoot barked eagerly.

**~"... roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorbike overtook them. ~**

"You're a hoodlum, Padfoot." Remus whispered to the dog.

**~I had a dream about a motorbike," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."~**

"Blimey 'Arry, that was a memory, that was." Hagrid boomed.

**~Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!"~**

"DO TOO!" Yelled Dennis.

**~Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."~**

"Memory, Harry."  
"Yeah I know sirs Hikaru and Kaurou!" Harry snapped. (A/N: Name the manga for a dedication!)

"Huh?" Fred and George asked.

Harry just shook his head.

**~But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon - they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.~**

"Ooooh what are these cat-toons things?" Fred and George asked in unison.

"We could use them!"

"Oh good God, Mione this'll be hilarious!" Harry muttered to Hermione who nodded and laughed.

"We'll make sure to tell you Gred, Forge."

**~It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.~**

"My first ice cream," Harry said, smiling slightly and ignoring the growls and angry muttering echoing around the Great Hall.

**~It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.~**

"Harry! Where has that wit been?!" Fred and George yelled in-between laughs.

"Um, I don't really hate you guys so I don't think like that." Harry shrugged.

**~Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him.~**

More growls and wand tapping.

**~They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.~**

"Allowed to?" Tonks hissed threateningly.

**~Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last. ~**

"Jinxed yourself Harry!" Hermione said.

"What? He used magic again?" A Slytherin pureblood asked confused.  
Professor Burbage sighed and added "Muggle terms involving magic things" to her list.

**~After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can-~**

"DO IT!" Roared the twins, Bill and Charlie.

**~- but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

**"Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge. ~**

"Good," The Greengrass sisters said.

**~"Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on. ~**

"Leave it alone Walrus!" Said Ginny.

**~"This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself - no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.~**

"Are you comparing yourself to a snake?" A few second years asked.  
Harry inwardly groaned, he forgot that some of the students weren't around in his second year.

**~The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

**It winked.**

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.~**

"Huh? You winked at a snake?" A first year Hufflepuff said.

**~The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

**"I get that all the time.~**

"Huh?!" Sounded around the Hall again.

**~"I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

**"Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

**"Was it nice there?"**

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see - so you've never been to Brazil?"~**

"You're a Parslemouth aren't you?" Asked a Slytherin second year.

Harry nodded and many lower years gasped.  
"I'm not evil!" Harry snapped irritably. Padfoot ran over to him and he scratched him behind the ears.  
"Sorry Sirius." He whispered ashamedly.  
_Why is Harry apologizing? Does he think I'll hate him for it? Does he trust me that little? _Sirius thought and rubbed his head against Harry's hand.

**~As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump.**

**"DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"~**

"Damn," Remus growled.

**~Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.~**

"Waddling? Nice Harry!" Bill complimented.

**~"Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs.~**

"OI!" Yelled Charlie.

**~Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened - one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.~**

"Did you…?" Flitwick left the question hanging.

**~Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.~**

"Nice one Harry!" Complimented Charlie.

**~As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come... Thanksss, amigo."~**

"Well, it is pretty cool to have the ability to talk to snakes." A Ravenclaw said.

"Well, I didn't try it besides… Uh, what happened in second year." Harry said.

**~The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

**"But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed,-~**

"Aw. Why didn't it eat him?" Fred asked.

**~-but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death.~**

"If only it did." George said wistfully.

**~But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"~**

"Little sneak!" Snarled surprisingly Crabbe.

**~Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go - cupboard - stay - no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.~**

"Starving a child! Potter! See me after the chapter!" Madame Pomphrey yelled.  
Harry nodded and was secretly panicking inside.

**~Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.~**

"A child shouldn't have to sneak food in his own house." McGonagall sniffed sadly.

**~He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead. This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.~**

"You hadn't even known what they looked like?" Remus asked sadly.  
"Well I found out, around Christmas, first year and I have a whole album-full now." Harry smiled.

"The mirror did have benefits." Harry said softly.  
"The mirror?"

"You'll see,"

**~When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family.~**

"Sorry Cub," Remus said and Padfoot barked.

**~Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.~**

"I DO!" Shouted all who believed Harry.


	3. Snape and 2 Pissed Dogs Chat and TLFNO

Ouch Ms. Rowling – A reading the books fic

Chapter 3 - Snape and two pissed dogs Chat and "The Letters from No One"

"Headmaster, I think we should take a break after this chapter," Remus suggested.  
"Absolutely my boy," Dumbledore replied, and hovered the book over to Remus who began to read.

**~THE LETTERS FROM NO ONE~**

"Hang on, how can a letter be from no one?" Asked Terry Boot.

"This must be Harry's Hogwarts letter." Hermione said.  
"But why does it say letters?" Asked Dennis.

"Um, well… My aunt and uncle didn't exactly want me to go…" Harry rubbed his shoulder, his eyes closed.

**~The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started-~**

"When is Dudley's birthday, exactly Potter?" Snape asked coldly.  
"Er…"  
"Harry!" Hermione protested.

"Um it's June third."

"WHAT!?" Screamed female Weasleys, Hermione, and the female teachers.  
"Potter that's a month!" Exclaimed Snape.

"Well I could get out when Aunt Petunia took Dudley out… When Uncle Vernon was at work." Harry said quietly. Madam Pomphrey rounded on Dumbledore.  
"Albus! He is starving and I wouldn't be surprised if he had Catabolysis! No wonder he is so thin when he comes back! And in general, it would be impossible for him to ever be the proper weight. Or size." Her eyes were narrow slits, making the great sorcerer quiver in his boots.  
"I am sure he will allow you to perform a full diagnostic scan during the break next chapter."

"But Albus-"

"Poppy we need to keep reading."  
Over at the Gryffindor table Hermione and Ginny were cursing the Dursleys and questioning Harry, ignoring his looks of discomfort.  
"Harry did they do this often?!" Ginny asked.

"Er…"  
"Harry!" Shrieked Hermione, pulling at his arm. Harry wrenched his arm away, his heart racing.  
"Argh! Don't do that!" Harry exclaimed loudly, rubbing his right arm.

"Harry I'm sorry," Hermione said quietly, looking on the verge of tears.  
"What? 'Mione I'm sorry! I didn't mean to freak out. It's fine, just stop crying please!" Harry begged, his face red.

Remus took pity on his and began to read again.

** ~-and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.~**

"That hurt." Mrs. Figg (who came in with the Order) said.  
"And you are?" Umbridge asked primly.  
"Arabella Figg, Harry Potter's neighbor. A squib." Mrs. Figg said pointedly.

**~Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day.~**

"Why would you need to escape?" Asked Neville. Snape was thinking the same thing but felt disgusted by thinking the same way as… he shuddered. _Longbottom._

"Oh just the up and coming sport for children in Little Winging. Harry Hunting." Harry said bitterly.

"What's that?"

"Don't worry about it." Harry said snappily. Neville's face fell.  
"Oh god, Nev I'm sorry! I didn't mean to snap. I just hate the fact that everyone's learning about it all."

** ~Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.~**

"Can you imagine if that applied for some other thugs we know?" Ron whispered to Harry with a nod to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.  
"Then Goyle would be the leader." Harry quipped and the Trio started laughing.

** ~The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.~**

"So Potter, how does one play Harry Hunting!?" Malfoy jeered. Everyone turned to Harry who was staring at the table, tracing a crack in the wood.

"Well first you shove someone out of their cupboard and drag them onto the lawn where you then stick them with a switchblade and send them sprinting into the woods. But the fact that someone just got them in the ribs with a knife makes sure they can't outrun you. Your cronies take turns holding their hands behind their backs while you beat the shit out of them! And this is after a punishment, locked in my cupboard for a week without food. For crying out in a nightmare! Why don't you go ahead and try it, then me hexing you will be self-defense!" Harry's voice began to waver and eventually raised to cover it.

Malfoy sat there, stunned. Snape was even more shocked, these Muggle bullies sounded worse than Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin. He had at least had his wand to defend himself, and they hadn't held his hands behind his back.

"Professor Lupin, could you please read on," Harry muttered, his face bright pink after his outburst. The twins and their friend Lee hadn't ever seen this side of Harry. In the twins opinion this was worse than Harry's rant at Grimmauld Place. Harry couldn't believe how much he was giving away with the book.

**~This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. ~  
**"Hogwarts!" Yelled the twins, hoping to diffuse some tension. And failing.

** ~When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley. ~**

"You won't, but you're going to Hogwarts." Parvarti Patil said, confused.  
"He hasn't gotten his letter yet." Luna said, smiling dreamily around the room.

** ~Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings.~**

"What kind of name is Smeltings? Muggles are weird." Said George.  
"Well what kind of name is Hogwarts?" A Muggleborn whose name was down for Smeltings defended.

** ~Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school.~**

"No, you're going to Hogwarts." Insisted Colin Creevey.

** ~Dudley thought this was very funny.~**

"Why would it be funny?" Asked a Ravenclaw third year.  
"Because it was ghetto and chances are I'd get mugged everyday. And be even worse off." Harry muttered darkly.  
"Mugged?"

"Beaten up."  
"Ghetto?"  
"Bad off, and dangerous. Like people getting shot and killed everyday. And stabbed."

_What would Potter even know about that? _Snape wondered.

"I used the subway to get there and tour it once… All I can say is thank Merlin for accidental magic."

"What happened?" Asked a Hufflepuff.

"Well I was holding onto the bar because all the seats were taken. Once I got off someone had done something and were running from the cops. They were gonna jump the terminal and I was in the way so they shoved me over and used me as a shield. The cops had caught up, and had their guns out and were shooting at them. So they used me to prevent themselves from getting shot. One bullet came right at my head but some shield thing popped up and deflected it. Then the guy let me go and I got outta there. Scary though, but nothing compared to when I got home."

"Didn't you tell anyone?" Asked a Slytherin. Harry snorted without a trace of humor.  
"Why would I? So there would be more instances of freakishness about? Why would I bring hell upon myself? I do, despite popular belief, have a sense of self-preservation."

Harry groaned and buried his head in his hands.

"When is the first break?" He asked.

"After this chapter." Remus said.

"Were Dudley and his friends that bad?" Asked Bill.  
"No I can handle them well enough."  
"Then how-" Harry cut them off.  
"Professor Lupin will you read?"

**~"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

**"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick."~**

"Brilliant Harry!" The twins chorused and Harry offered a weak smile.

** ~Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.~**

"A Potter running away from a fight? Where is the Gryffindor foolishness, I mean bravery?" Sneered Snape.  
"I do have common sense Professor."

**~One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before.~**

Mrs. Figg looked at Harry who mumbled an apology and turned pink.

** ~She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.~**

"Why!? The poor chocolate!" Cried Remus making frantic hand gestures. Tonks giggled and both of them turned bright red. Padfoot wiggled his eyebrows at Remus who glared at him and looked over at Tonks, only to blush again.

**~That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters.~**

"GROSS!" Parvarti and Lavender cried in disgust.

** ~They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.~**

"Good training?" Asked Hermione incredulously.

"Well, we have them too. But we hex each other with them instead of hitting them." Harry put in.  
"You have a weird way of looking at things Potter." Called Cormack McClaggan.

"And?" Ron snapped.

**~As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. ~**

"Sad, fat man." Ginny said, as Fred and George wiped away fake tears.

"Your life is BORING!" Shouted Lee.

** ~Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up.~**

"Doubt it!" Commented a Slytherin Harry had been paired with at one time during Quirrell's class. He had been nice enough.

** ~Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh. ~**

Harry had no such qualms now and as he pictured it again he burst into raucous laughter, not noticing the sad looks Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were exchanging.

_A child should be able to laugh in his own home._

"Harry don't you see it? You should be able to laugh in your home!" Hermione exclaimed. Harry looked at her oddly.  
"I can laugh at the castle…"

That's when it completely struck Dumbledore; he didn't even consider Number Four Privet Drive as home. The castle was Harry's home. This struck Snape too and was thinking about another sad, dark-haired little boy who called Hogwarts home, instead of Spinner's End and Tobias Snape. Snape was shocked at the resemblance between he and Potter's home life, at least _he _Severus, got a bedroom, not a cupboard.

**~There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. ~**

"Why?" Asked a Hufflepuff who was promptly shushed by an upper year student.

** ~It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.~**

"What is that?" Asked a Ravenclaw.

"You'll see." Harry said.

**~"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.~**

"How dare you young man!?" Fred shouted, as George waggled a finger at Harry, disapprovingly.

Harry grinned and stuck his tongue out at the both of them.

**~"Your new school uniform," she said.**

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

**"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."~**

"Harry," The twins asked.

"Prank-" George started.  
"-with us?" Finished Fred.

"This is just what we need, the son of James Potter and godson of Sirius Black, pranking!" McGonagall muttered to Dumbledore who chuckled and ate a lemon drop.  
"No, I prefer to use my time destroying Lord Voldemort." Harry faked sighed to the twins back at Gryffindor table.  
"Please Harrykins!"  
"Can't til he's dead. Then we'll talk." Harry said firmly. Hearing this, Umbridge piped up.  
"He is dead!"  
"NO HE ISN'T!" Ron, Hermione and Harry yelled in unison.  
"That's scary, that is," Fred whispered to George who nodded.

"Detention!" Umbridge called. The trio swore in unison and sat as Mrs. Weasley admonished them for "foul language in front of small children".

**~"Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia.~**

"Yeah right, Potter? Not being stupid?" Malfoy sneered. Harry looked at him hard and said slowly.  
"Me? Not being stupid? That's funny, considering how I top you in every class besides Potions. Isn't it, Malfoy?" Malfoy tinged pink and all of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw laughed. Many of the Slytherins sick of Malfoy's superior attitude joined in until Snape's glare silenced them all.

** ~"I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."~**

"I doubt it," Justin Finch-Fletchley said.

**~Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue.~**

"Thought it best not to argue? Potter?" Snape sneered in slight disbelief.

"Yes _sir _I am not completely stupid. I know if I argue… Punishment ensues." Harry glared at him, trying to control the trembling in his arms.

** ~He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High - like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.~**

"Makes you thank whoever designed the Hogwarts robes huh mate?" Ron said, trying to cheer Harry up.

**~Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.**

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.**

**"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.~**

"The walrus made the pig do something?!" Cried Lee as the twins "fainted".

**~"Make Harry get it."**

**"Get the mail, Harry."~**

"False alarm!" Yelled Lee.  
"No apocalypse!" The twins 'surprisingly' came round and Remus read on.

**~"Make Dudley get it."**

**"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."~**

Growls from the Gryffindor table.

**~Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and - a letter for Harry.~**

"Hogwarts!" Chorused most first years.

**~Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would?~**

"Yeah Forgie, who?" asked George.

"Only the entire wizarding world Greddie! Especially Ginny!" Fred cried, waggling his eyebrows at Ginny who sent a stinging hex at him.  
"Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley scolded.  
"Sorry Mum," She intoned dully.

** ~He had no friends,~**

"Hah! Friendless eh Potter?" Sneered Malfoy.

"Not my fault Dudley attacked whoever was remotely nice to _the freak_!" Harry snarled.

** ~-no other relatives~**

Snuffles and Remus exchanged guilty looks.

_If only I hadn't gone after the damn rat. _Sirius thought, rushing over to Harry and whimpering a little. Harry smiled softly and scratched behind Snuffles' ears.

_I should have checked on him. I didn't want to impose on what I thought would be a very happy family. Who didn't want a werewolf with their nephew. _Remus thought sadly, wanting to apologize to Harry.

** ~- he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back.~**

"I hate those!" Hermione complained.  
"You didn't return a book?" George said.  
"Naughty, naughty." Fred waggled a finger disapprovingly.

** ~Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:**

**Mr. H. Potter**

**The Cupboard under the Stairs**

**4 Privet Drive**

**Little Whinging**

**Surrey~**

"How exactly are the letters addressed?" Hissed Mrs. Weasley.  
"A magical quill. But we should have a supervisor so things like this don't happen." Dumbledore said, looking sadly towards Snape who was purposely ignoring him.

**~The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.~**

"Stamp?" Asked a Hufflepuff.

Professor Burbage added it to the list.

**~Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion,~**

The Gryffindors stood and yelled:  
"LIONS ROAR!" Even Remus and the graduated Weasleys joined in.

** ~-an eagle,~**

The Ravenclaws stood and chorused:  
"EAGLES CAW" And some of the over-enthusiastic firsties flapped their arms around.

** ~-a badger,~**

"BADGERS GROWL!" The Hufflepuffs growled, along with Tonks and Dedalus Diggle.

** ~-and a snake-~**

Only a few firsties and Crabbe stood and yelled:

"Snakes hiss!" And then sat down, turning red from the stares.

** ~-surrounding a large letter H.~**

"Hogwarts!" Yelled everyone minus some too cool for school Slytherins.

**~"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.~**

"HAHAHA I FORGOT TO LAUGH!" Roared the twins.

"HARDEE FUCKING HAR!" Yelled Lee.  
"JORDAN!" Roared McGonagall.  
"That would be my name Professor." Lee said sweetly.

"Watch your mouth!"

"Yes ma'am." He said.

"Yeah Lee watch the mouth! Scorgify ioca!" Fred yelled, pointing his wand at Lee. Instantly the outside of Lee's mouth was covered in sticky pink bubbles.  
"Ew! Get the taste outta my mouth!" Yelled Lee, unable to wipe the bubbles from his face.  
"It'll last five minutes, chill."

"Misters Weasley, where did you learn that spell?" Asked Snape, a strange expression on his face.  
"We added the last part so it wouldn't choke anyone, that would just be awful." George said, giving his professor a strange look.

"Why couldn't you do that?" Snape asked Remus, who looked down guiltily.  
"I cannot apologize for Sirius or James but I am sorry I did nothing." Remus muttered.  
"Better than nothing," Snape grumbled, sitting back.

**~Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.~**

"Why did you open it there? Why not wait?" Asked Terry Boot.

"No one had ever written to me, I was excited. And curious."

"Of course you're curious, you're Harry." Ron said, and Harry shrugged.

**~Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.**

**"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk. -."~**

"Good." Harry said angrily.

"Mr. Potter!" Exclaimed Flitwick.  
"Sorry sir, but that woman…" Harry trailed off, clenching his fists.

**_"If there's something wrong with the bitch, there's something wrong with the pup-" _**

Harry growled softly, his knuckles white.

**~"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"~**

"Stupid pig," Hissed Angelina Johnson.

**~Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.~**

"Bastard." Snarled Ron. Thankfully, his mother hadn't heard.

**~"That's mine!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.~**

"Uh oh, Harry's pissed!" Ron called.  
"What do you mean?" Asked Hannah Abbot.  
"Wait for it," Hermione said.

**~"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon,-~**

"Ginny!" Yelled the twins, only to get smacked in the back of the head.

** ~-shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it.~**

"Hey! That's illegal!" Snarled Hermione.

** ~His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.~**

"Tonks?" Called Harry.

Tonks obliged and every student (minus some Slytherins) applauded. Remus clapped too and Tonks promptly blushed.

**~"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.~**

"Drama queen." Scoffed Malfoy.

"Hark whose talkin' ferret!" Lee said.

**~Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.~**

"Drama queen." Snape scoffed quietly.

**~"Vernon! Oh my goodness - Vernon!"~**

"My stars Vernon!" Fred cried in a Southern accent, clutching at his chest.  
"Since when has my aunt had a Southern accent Freddikins?" Harry asked.

"He got you Fred." George said solemnly, bowing.

**~They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.~**

"Mum would kill us if we did that!" Exclaimed all the Weasleys minus Percy.

**~"I want to read that letter," he said loudly.**

**"I want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's mine."~**

"Walrus, give it to Harry, he is getting angry!" Hermione called.

**~"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.**

**Harry didn't move.**

**I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.~**

"And there it is, Harry is angry**.**" Fred said.  
"I do believe Harry is akin to Bruce Banner," George started.  
"You won't like him when he's angry!" Fred added. Most people looked confused but Hermione and Harry laughed.  
"Yes, but I don't turn into a giant green thing." Harry cracked his first big smile since the reading started.

"What are you talking about?" Asked half the population of Hogwarts.  
"Professor Burbage, will you add 'Muggle comics, the Incredible Hulk' to your list?" asked Harry.

"How do you know about Hulk anyway?" Hermione asked.  
"We go to Ottery St. Catchpole a lot. And Harry helped us." Fred and George explained.

**~"Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.**

**"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall,-~**

"HEY!" Yelled all of Harry's friends, and most of the Order. By most, everyone but Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick and Snape.

** ~-slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole-~**

"HARRY! HARRY! HARRY!" Chanted the twins.

**~-; Dudley won,-~**

"Aw!"

"He was six times the size of me, I couldn't win."

** ~-so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.~**

"Well that way you can see too." Remus said and Harry shrugged.

**~"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address - how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"~**

"No, why would we watch you?" Scoffed Malfoy but no one commented.

**~"Watching - spying - might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.~ **

"Paranoid," Grunted Moody. Everyone turned and stared at him.

"What?"

"Nothing!" The twins chorused and everyone looked away and frantically at the book in Remus' hands.

**~"But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want -"**

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

**"No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer... Yes, that's best... we won't do anything...~**

"Like that will work." Scoffed Professor Vector.

**~"But -"**

**"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"~**

Silence.

"Potter is this true?" McGonagall asked. Suddenly Sirius did the stupidest thing possible. He transformed, not thinking.  
"SIRIUS BLACK!" Screamed all the Ministry officials and shot stunning spells. There had to be at least eight red jets of light headed straight for the man.  
"Sirius no!" Harry yelled and knocked Sirius out of the way. A bubble of bright gold with a green corona shot out of Harry's wand, absorbing all the Stunners.  
One student sent a particularly nasty hex that had gotten through the shield and hit Harry full on. Harry flew back into the Gryffindor table and hit his head hard.  
He immediately leaped up and stood in front of Sirius.  
"NO! He's innocent! The books will prove it! Or give him effing Veritaserum!" Harry glared at the people with raised wands, daring them to shoot another spell at his godfather.

"Fine!" Fudge cried.

"Veritaserum!" Immediately Moody withdrew a vial from his coat.

"Um, Mad-Eye?" Tonks asked.  
"Always be prepared. CONSTANT VIGILENCE!" He grunted.

"Black! Come here!" Fudge yelled.  
Sirius walked up, with Harry next to him.  
"Sit Potter."  
"No, I'm not letting you or him do something stupid." Sirius raised an eyebrow and turned to the Minister for Magic.

"Hello Minister, do you have another paper for me?" Sirius said it pleasantly enough but Fudge's temper rose.

"Enough murderer!" He spat. Sirius growled but Harry pulled on his arm.  
"Enough Paddy. Just let him do it."

Sirius sighed and held out a hand for the vial of Truth Potion. Fudge flinched back and Sirius rolled his eyes.  
"The potion, Minister?"

"Oh, yes, of course." He handed Sirius the vial who downed it and immediately his eyes glazed over.  
"Full name?"  
"Sirius Orion Black."

"Were you the Potter's Secret Keeper?"  
"I was until they switched to Peter Pettigrew weeks prior to the Potter's murder."  
"Who killed the people the day you were detained?"  
"Peter Pettigrew."  
"How?"  
"He cursed them from behind his back after he shouted how I betrayed Lily and James, cut off his finger and turned into a rat."  
"Turned into a rat?"  
"Yes, he is an Animagus."  
"How do you know?"  
"When I was in my fifth year I, Peter, and James turned into Animagi to accompany Remus Lupin when he transformed into a werewolf at the full moon."  
"What were the three of yours Animagi?"  
"I am a black dog like the Grimm, Peter is a rat, and James was a stag."

"Who sold the Potters to Voldemort?"  
"Peter Pettigrew."

"Moody, the antidote?" Fudge asked, finished with the questions.

Moody complied and Sirius downed it. He shook his head like a wet dog and looked eagerly at the Minister, for the result. Fudge sighed and turned to Percy.  
"Sirius Orion Black is cleared of all charges."

At the words Sirius leaped up into the air and yelled.  
"YES!" He rushed to Harry and hugged him tight.  
"Thanks pup!"  
Harry grinned.  
"Does this mean I can live with you?"  
"Hell yeah! You aren't going back to the Dursleys ever!" Sirius said, more to Dumbledore than Harry.  
"Sirius the blood wards."  
"Fuck them, the Dursleys don't care!"  
"Sirius Black don't swear in front of children!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.

"Sorry Molly," Sirius said sheepishly.

"So Harry, back to why I changed, the walrus hasn't…?" Sirius asked, suddenly urgently.

"Um so Sirius, uh are we gonna live in Grimmauld Place?" Harry asked, changing the subject quickly. Remus and Sirius' hearts sank and Snape sighed.

_I have to talk to him at break. _All three of them thought.

**~That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard. ~**

"HE FIT?!" Yelled Charlie.

"Well, just his head and arms." Harry explained.

"Ah, that makes sense. Fat walrus." Said Ginny, exaggerating a sigh.

**~"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"~**

"Hogwarts!" Chorused all the first years.

**~"No one. it was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. "I have burned it."~**

"Son of a bitch." Growled, surprisingly Mad-Eye.

**~"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."~**

"You tell 'im Harry!" Yelled Oliver Wood.

**~"SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling. ~**

Ron shuddered and the twins looked at each other, guiltily.

** ~He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful. ~**

"Hope it was." Hissed Sirius.

**~"Er - yes, Harry - about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking... you're really getting a bit big for it...-~**

"He shouldn't have been in there in the first place!" Remus growled.

** ~-we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom. ~**

"WHAT!?" Screamed most of the Hall.

"That fat pig had two bedrooms and you got a bloody cupboard?!" Sirius stood, pulling out his wand.  
"Alright, anyone else want to join me? I am going to… visit Harry's relatives." Instantly most of the Hall and the entire DA stood, forgetting that they were supposed to be afraid of the now ex-convict Sirius Black.  
"Mr. Black sit down!" Roared Fudge. Sirius waved him away.  
"Sirius, please," Harry begged, pulling at his arm. Sirius sighed and sat next to Harry, pulling him into a one-armed hug. Those who stood up groaned and went back to their seats, sheathing their wands disappointed.

**~"Why?" said Harry. ~**

"Why question it Harry?" Groaned Ron.  
"They never do something without something for them to gain. I don't trust them. Or any other adult." Harry's voice went lower and lower til the end. Sirius frowned, _did Harry not trust him?_

**~"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now."**

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms:-~**

"WHAT they had four bedrooms and you were in a cupboard?!" Roared Remus. Harry nodded.

** ~-one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors-~**

"But they didn't put you in that?!" Exclaimed Hermione.

** ~-(usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom. ~**

"Spoiled pig!" Roared most of the Hall.

** ~It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. ~**

At this Ron looked down. Harry had even less than him by far and he had never heard Harry once complain. He knew for a fact that Harry only had wizard money, not Muggle money. All Ron did was complain about money when it came up.

** ~He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. ~**

"Spoiled shit." Snarled Tonks.

Remus looked at her, amused and she blushed.

** ~Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched. ~**

"Of course they weren't, can he even read?" Hermione scoffed.  
"Uh, I'm not sure… Maybe. I dunno, I did his work."

"Harry, why?!"  
"I couldn't get better grades than Dudley or else. And besides Dudley would lay off me when I was doing his homework. I didn't mind, I liked doing the reading and the maths weren't hard."

"Potter liking schoolwork?" Snape was surprised to say the least.  
"Yes Professor, I enjoy learning, just it gets interrupted when I have to save the school practically every year." Harry snapped.

**~From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, I don't want him in there... I need that room... make him get out..."~**

"Harry needs that room, fatty." Snarled Bill.

**~Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here.~**

"That's sad…" Luna said softly.

** ~Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.~**

"Why? Isn't a room better?" Parvarti asked, confused.  
"But this is Harry we're talking about, he is so curious he'd rather the mysterious letter." Hermione said and Harry turned a bit red.

**~Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.~**

"If we did that, we'd be six feet under!" The Weasley kids, minus Percy chorused.

** ~Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it.~**

"Sign of the apocalypse!" Screamed Fred.

** ~They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive -'"~**

"If he wanted to read it, why announce it?" Asked Terry.

"This is Dudley. I don't think that even crossed his mind." Harry shrugged.

**~With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind.~**

Instantly Ron began laughing hysterically. Everyone looked at him odd until he gasped out:

"So you were practicing Harry!" Hermione and Harry began laughing too.  
"I… I guess!" Finally they calmed down and Harry noticed Sirius' confused look.  
"You'll see."

** ~After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.~**

"Damn," Swore Remus.

**~"Go to your cupboard - I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley - go - just go."**

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.~**

"And now you're screwed Harry." Ron said.  
"Not all my plans suck!"

"No, it's not that they are bad," Hermione started.  
"But when we get around to putting them into action, all Hell breaks loose and you think of something to fix it." Ron finished.  
"That's not… Well, it seems to be a… uh reoccurring experience." Harry mumbled, turning red again.

**~The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.**

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.~**

"Not bad," George started.  
"Wait for it…"

** ~His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door -**

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat - something alive!~**

"And there it is Georgie!" Fred exclaimed.

**~Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face.~**

"Good going Harry!" Yelled Charlie and Bill, giving him thumbs up.

** ~Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea.~**

"Make your own damn tea!" Exclaimed Kingsley. The rest of the non-Order Ministry members stared at him. He pointedly fixed his hat and adjusted his purple robes.

** ~Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.**

**I want -" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes. Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.~**

"Paranoid git." Said Padma Patil.

**~"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't deliver them they'll just give up."~**

"Not gonna work." Said Flitwick.

**~"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

**"Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.~**

"Yes, _our _minds work in strange ways. Let's be glad we don't think like him." Snape said and to his surprise most of the Hall laughed. He looked quite taken aback.

**~On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.~**

"Why didn't anyone go and deliver it?" Asked Ginny.

"Someone did." Harry said, beaming at Hagrid.

**~Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.~**

"He's lost it." Sirius said.  
"He didn't have _it _to lose Padfoot." Harry said.  
"Hang on, Harry, did you say Padfoot?" The twins asked in unison.  
"Yeah."  
"Sirius is…?"

"Oh, yeah I know who the Marauder's are." Harry said.  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!" The twins exclaimed.  
"You didn't ask. Sirius is Padfoot. Professor Lupin is Moony. My dad was Prongs. And the traitorous rat was Peter Pettigrew or Wormtail."  
"AHH! WE ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF TWO OF THE GREAT MARAUDERS!" Fred ran over to Remus and George to Sirius. They each fell to the floor and bowed low.  
"We are not worthy!" They chanted in unison. Then they switched places and bowed again.  
"Weasleys! Sit!" Yelled Umbridge. They ignored her.  
"We owe half of our success at Hogwarts to you two!" They exclaimed.  
Sirius and Remus grinned at each other.  
"I suppose we could prank with you guys. If Harry goes too." They said in unison.  
"NO!" Yelled McGonagall and Snape.

"Not two generations of troublemakers pranking together! Hogwarts won't be standing!" McGonagall exclaimed.  
"So is that a yes Gred, Forge?" The Marauders asked.

"YES!" The twins screamed and sat back down.

**~On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.**

**"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.~**

"If you dare say my name I will Bat-Bogey you." Ginny threatened the twins with a Mrs. Weasley-esque glare, pulling out her wand. The twins shut their mouths dejectedly.

**~On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.**

**"No post on Sundays,"-~**

"Yes there is!" Exclaimed a first year.

"Not for Muggles." Hermione explained.

** ~-he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers,-~**

"He's gone crazy!" Said a second year Hufflepuff.

"Yeah." Harry nodded.

** ~-"no damn letters today -"**

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head.~**

"Good!"

** ~Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one.~**

"Why didn't they just send someone instead of forty letters?" Asked Hermione. McGonagall turned slightly pink.

**~"Out! OUT!"**

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.~**

"OI!" Roared most of the Hall.  
"Harry did he ever…"

"Read please Professor!" Harry cut in over Sirius.

** ~When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor.**

**"That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"**

**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue. Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.~**

"Huh?" Asked all the Purebloods. Professor Burbage sighed and added them to the list.

**~They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while. "Shake'em off... shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.~**

"He's mad!"

**~They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life.~**

"Well that's how Harry always feels!" Bill growled.

** ~He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.~**

"Boo frickin Hoo" Snarled Sirius, hugging Harry again.

**~Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering...~**

"Wondering what?" Asked Denis Creevey.  
"I dunno, where the letter person was."

**~They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day.~**

"That isn't breakfast!" Fussed Mrs. Weasley.

** ~They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

**"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."**

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

**Mr. H. Potter**

**Room 17**

**Railview Hotel**

**Cokeworth**

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.~**

"She should have done something!" Ginny exclaimed.

**~"I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

**Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her. Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.~**

"Wacko!"

**~"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon.~**

"Daddy's been mad Diddykins!" Snarled Hermione.

** ~Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.**

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.**

**"It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television. "**

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it was Monday - and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television - -~**

The Hall sniggered.

**~-then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.~**

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Yelled the Gryffindors.

"My birthday was in July, but thanks!" Harry said with a wry grin.

** ~Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun - last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks.~**

"Harry you are being spoiled the rest of your life, no questions." Sirius said.  
"But-"  
"No I agree with Sirius." Remus said.

** ~Still, you weren't eleven every day.~**

"No just 364!" The twins chorused.

"You know what I meant!"

**~Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

**"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"**

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.**

**"Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together.~**

"I don't like storms." Harry said quietly.

** ~"And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!"**

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them.**

**"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"**

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.~**

"Sounds like a lovely vacation home." Hermione said sarcastically.

**~The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.**

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas.~**

"Did you actually get any?" Ron asked.

"Uh… No…" Harry looked back down at the table.

** ~He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.**

**"Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.~**

"Bastard!" Snarled most of the Hall.

**~He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.~**

"You are such a pessimist Harry!" Hermione said.  
"Well I have to be." Said Harry, grimly.

**~As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.~**

"They made you sleep on the floor!?" Roared Bill.

**~The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.~**

"Sleeping," Snape said, looking at McGonagall.

**~Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.~**

"You'd be dead then Potter." Scoffed Malfoy.  
"Yeah I know." Harry said darkly.

** ~Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.**

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?**

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds... twenty ... ten... nine - maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him-~**

"Do it!" Chorused the twins.

** ~- three... two... one...**

**BOOM.~**

"Huh?!"

**~The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.~**

"Oh! Cliff-hanger!" Said Hermione.  
"Huh?" Asked all purebloods who heard her.

"Alright we are going to have a short break before reading the rest of Harry Potter's lies… I mean life."

Harry stood up and ran out of the Hall the second the words left Umbridge's mouth. Sirius, Remus and surprisingly Snape stood and followed him.

"Harry!" Sirius called and Harry turned to find Remus, Sirius and Snape behind him.

"I need the truth, did that walrus of an uncle of yours ever…" Sirius trailed off and Snape cut him off.  
"For the love of Merlin, did your uncle ever hit you?"  
Harry's heart began racing, his eyes frantically looking for an escape route.

"Uh… well… it wasn't anything I didn't deserve…" Harry stuttered.  
The three men each took a sharp intake of breath.  
"Potter you don't deserve to have that happen to you." Snape said slowly.

"But I killed him?" Harry asked dazedly.  
"Who?" Remus asked softly.

"Cedric. It was my fault, I told him to come and get the portkey too."

Sirius crouched down so he was closer to Harry's face and said firmly:

"Harry non of that was your fault. None of it. Now how bad was your uncle?"  
"It depended,"  
"On what?" Asked Remus fearfully.  
"Whether I finished my chores, did something wrong or woke them up with nightmares."  
"Nightmares?" Asked Snape sharply.  
"The graveyard, it comes every night,"

"You look fine though, where is it?" Remus asked.

"Glamour charms." It wasn't Harry who answered, but Snape.  
_"Finite." _He waved his wand over Harry who immediately shuddered. Instantly it was if Harry was a whole different person. There were bruises that looked suspiciously like fingerprints. There were bruises everywhere at different stages of healing. As if summoned Madam Pomphrey came bustling out the Hall and spotted Harry.  
"Mr. Potter Hospital Wing now!" Sirius and Remus each grabbed one of Harry's arms.  
"Dammit all to Hell!" Harry swore.  
"I'll bring healing potions Poppy, this is bad." Snape said, before sweeping off to his dungeons.

And so Harry was forced into the Hospital Wing as Madam Pomphrey bustled about.  
"Shirt off Potter."

Harry complied and the adults gasped in shock.

Author's Note:

Alright I hate the ending, but I really wanted this done and uploaded.

Please Rate and Review, the longer reviews the better.


	4. Chapter 4 Newcomers and TKOK

Ouch Ms. Rowling! – A reading the HP books fanfiction

Chapter 4 – and "The Keeper of Keys"

Response to Reviews

SuperRockerChick: Yeah, yeah I got it; don't send a pedo bear after me! And you already know half of what's gonna happen, "Ms. Gimme sneak peeks or I'll send my maniacal, ass-kicking baby sister after you!"

Herpderp1298: Who said I didn't? I got a plan, don't you worry. I will do the first chapter. ;)

anonimous: Yes that is correct. I forgot to take that A/N off when I switched to this site. I do love that manga. I hope you sign in if you review next time. I do believe you miss-spelled anonymous.

Lady Asphodel93: Thanks for the kind words; I am glad I made you laugh. I was laughing as I wrote some of this. My family thinks I may or may not be mad but. Ah well. I was just alone in my room cackling like a banshee. Yeah, I probably am. Well as Dumbledore said (paraphrased) "All geniuses are a little bit mad". Yes I am bragging. And yes I am kidding.

917Brat: I think I was going to keep the books the same and not add my own writing if that's what you meant, I am not exactly sure what you meant, sorry.

Kazoquel4: I doubt anyone would be.

Thanks for all those who followed and favorited. I appreciate it very much! :D

Now I have a question, I will take some people from the past, a small amount, but when? I was thinking The Sorting? Or the Journey from Platform 9 ¾? And who? I was thinking Lily, James (should they be together yet?), Alice, Frank, and Severus. Should I bring anyone else? Pettigrew?

I am getting very pissed at it keeps taking this off. The excuse this time? I used personal comments in the description. Oh you are pissing me off.

I do not own Harry Potter nor any text you recognize. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am not famous… yet, or blond or British. I am clearly not J.K.R.

After Harry took his shirt off he winced as the cold air hit his welts. His uncle had been pissed the last day of summer and Harry had put Glamour on the second he had arrived at school.

Madame Pomphrey took several deep breaths and began to heal Harry. It was a short process, aided by Snape's healing potions and sooner than Harry thought possible, he was back in the Hall, waiting to start the next chapter. Hagrid took the book, much to Umbridge's distain.

**~THE KEEPER OF THE KEYS~ **

Hagrid boomed and beamed at Harry.

**~BOOM.~**

He yelled it and the Hall jumped. Dean swore loudly and glared at Hagrid who wink.

** ~They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. "Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.~  
**"Everything he says is always stupid. Hey Harry, when are we gonna meet other people and leave the damn Dursleys?" Called Oliver Wood.  
"Soon Oliver, after this should be Diagon Ally." Harry said with a small smile. This cheered up many younger students who had clearly been getting bored.

**~There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands-~**

"HE HAD A RIFLE!?" Shrieked Hermione and Madame Pomphrey.  
"What's a rifle?" Asked George, confused.  
"A very dangerous Muggle gun that kills people and shouldn't be near children!" Hermione fussed.  
"He didn't shoot it Mione, Hagrid took care of it!"

**~- - now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.**

**"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you - I'm armed!"~**

"So are we!" The twins chorused, waggling their arms around like Wacky-Advertising-Inflatable tube men. (A/N: Hah, I love Family Guy)

**~There was a pause. Then -**

**SMASH!~ **

Everyone jumped as Hagrid bellowed the word.

**~The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.~**

Many first years were on the edge of their seats in anticipation, not realizing the person who smashed it in, was in the room.

**~A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.~**

"Harry, that makes Hagrid sound terrifying!" Hermione exclaimed. Harry gave a very Slytherin smirk.  
"Wait til you hear your descriptions then." This nearly gave Snape a heart-attack, that was a smirk almost akin to his own.

**~The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.**

**"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey..."~**

"Only you, Hagrid." Ron said grinning and shaking his head. Hagrid turned slightly red beneath his beard.

**~He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

**"Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.~**

"YEAH! GOOO HAGRID!" Screamed the twins, Bill and Charlie.

**~Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother,-~**

"How'd he fit?" Asked Lavender Brown, shocked.

"She was behind Uncle Vernon."

** ~-who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.~**

"See?" Harry said. Lavender nodded, not knowing what else to do in the situation.

**~"An' here's Harry!" said the giant.**

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.**

**"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yet dad, but yeh've got yet mom's eyes."~**

"First time I heard that," Harry said with a grin.  
"Though it can get old…"

"But you doooo Prongslet!" Sirius whined. Harry blushed slightly.  
"Uh, Prongslet? Really Paddy?"

Sirius nodded and ruffled Harry's already wild mop of hair.

**~Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.**

**I demand that you leave at once, sit!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"~**

"Like Hagrid's gonna listen," Lee said sarcastically.

**~"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune,"-~**

The twins were spluttering with laughter.  
"You great prune?!" They quoted.

"Brilliant Hagrid!" They chorused, wide grins spread from each identical ear to ear.

** ~-said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.~**

"Awesome Hagrid!" Ginny called, giving Hagrid a thumbs up.

**~Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.~**

"Harry, that wasn't very nice to think," Luna said serenely. Everyone stared at her.  
"What did the mice ever do to you?" Everyone cracked up and Luna smiled dreamily at everyone.

**~"Anyway - Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here - I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."**

**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Harry written on it in green icing.~**

"My first birthday cake…" Harry said with a grin.  
"Actually Cub, you had your first cake on your first birthday. Padfoot snatched half before Lily got a chance to cut it. Following your godfather's example, you mashed your face in the rest. It was chocolate and I got none…" Remus said, with a fake glare at Sirius.  
"Yeah, well you snooze you lose Moony. Prongslet knows what's up!" Sirius grinned and went to high-five his godson who just laughed and shook his head.  
"Sorry Paddy, I don't remember that."

"Do you actually remember your parents Harry?" Asked Colin excitedly.  
"I only remember when they died. I just see my dad hand me off and then I see my mum collapse… And green light… Lot's of green light…" Harry said, his emerald eyes haunted. A few of the girls burst into tears. Snape was almost sickened.  
_They only memory he has of Lily is her death… _

"That's what made learning to fight Dementors so hard. I think it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. They're my only memories of my parents besides green light." Harry shuddered at the thought of the soul-sucking beasts.

_I knew he heard them, but I never knew it made it so hard for him… _Remus thought sadly.

**~Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"~**

"Harry manners!" Hermione scolded.  
"Yeah, yeah Mione!"

**~The giant chuckled.**

**"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts."~**

"He won't know what you mean Hagrid," Remus said with an edge of a growl on his voice.

_Damn Dursleys!_

**~He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm.**

**"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."~**

"Hagrid! Don't drink in front of him!" Yelled Mrs. Weasley.

"I didn' Molly."

**~His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there.~**

"OOOOO! It's like magic!" Lee exclaimed, waggling his fingers around.

"Oh can it!"

** ~It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.~  
**"And how would you know what that felt like Potter? I always knew you grew up in a mangy shack, I just thought it was the entire house. Not just a cupboard." Malfoy sneered. Instantly Harry stood up, his eyes flashing dangerously behind his glasses. His wand was out and at Malfoy's throat in a nanosecond. Harry's eyes were darkened and flat and his other hand was clenched in a fist so tight his knuckles were white and the scars on his hand shown bright. (A/N: That last part rhymed!)

"Don't. You. Ever. DARE. Talk. About that. To me. Again." Harry snarled, a strange wind whipping through the Hall. Windows cracked and the enchanted ceiling turned into a violent thunderstorm with lightning crackling loudly. An almost growl erupted from Harry's throat as he said:

"Understand Malfoy?" Harry was breathing heavily but kept glaring at Malfoy, sparks erupting from the tip of the holly wand, stinging Malfoy's throatuntil the blond nodded weakly.  
"Good." Harry wrenched his wand away from his throat, unclenched his fist and sat back down. The windows repaired and the ceiling cleared up. Umbridge had been too shocked by Harry's blatant display of power to do anything. Harry collapsed onto the table breathing hard as black edged his vision as the memories tried to come to the forefront of his mind. Harry focused and buried them deep, unwilling to relive it. Everyone, even Dumbledore and Snape stared at the black-haired boy.

"Hagrid," Harry croaked.  
"Keep reading."

**~The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs,-~**

"How many things do you have in your coat Hagrid?" Exclaimed Tonks.  
"I don't know, I haven't counted."

** ~-and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea.~**

"Hagrid!" Started Mrs. Weasley.  
"It was Butterbeer Molly!"

** ~Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage.~**

"I'm hungry!" Ron moaned.  
"When are we eating?!"

"You just ate Ronald!" Hermione said.  
"Well I'm hungry again! It was like a whole hour ago!"

"Pity you can't live without food for an hour!" Hermione snapped.  
"Well in case you didn't notice, I'm not Harry! I can't go days without food!" Ron immediately stopped, knowing he said the wrong thing.

Harry breathed hard, keeping the tears from falling from his eyes. His face was the color of fresh snow.

"R-r-" Harry trailed off and stood. He sprinted out of the Hall the supposedly locked doors flying open as he approached them.

"RONALD WEASLEY YOU TACTLESS GIT!" Screamed surprisingly Fred and George. They each gave Ron a death glare and sprinted out after Harry, leaving Ron to face the swarm of piranha also known as his mother, sister and Hermione Granger.

"Ron what the bloody Hell were you thinking!?" Hissed Ginny, sparks flying from her wand in a myriad of colors.

"I-I wasn't!" Ron stammered, terrified of the fiery red-haired women and his best friend.

"You better apologize when Harry comes back, prat." Hissed Hermione.

"I'm very disappointed in you Ron, saying something like that to your best friend." His mother said angrily to him.

Back in the foyer, Harry had collapsed against the marble wall after leaving the Hall in a panicked rush. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass of a large window, idly watching the condensation gather around his skin. He heard the doors to the Hall open and expected it to be Sirius and Remus, or even Ron, flanked by his sister, mother and Hermione. It took him by surprise once he turned and found Fred and George with oddly stoic looks on their identical faces.

"You alright, little brother?" Asked Fred seriously. Harry was shocked to hear them refer to him in such a way. It almost brought tears to his eyes, he had never thought of being a brother to someone. He had just dreamed of his parents being alive, hadn't given a thought to having a little brother or sister.

"Harry?" Asked George, going to place a hand on Harry's shoulder but thought better of it once Harry tensed up a bit.

"It's just…" Fred shook his head.  
"Don't explain, kiddo, we know how much of a git Ron can be."

"But he didn't mean-"  
"Of course he didn't mean to! But he's-" George cut in.  
"A tactless prat!" Fred finished.

"Yeah but-"

"We know you aren't angry with him,"

"But we know you don't want to go back there after having someone say what happened to you so bluntly." Fred finished for George.  
"How do you guys know all that?"

"We've seen you in the locker rooms, we just didn't say anything."  
"We figured you didn't want to draw attention to it." Harry's face turned tomato red and he backed up a bit.  
"Harry, stop. We aren't trying to back you into a corner."

Harry blustered, his face red when the twins both pulled him into a hug. Harry was surprised, but he relaxed into the two gangly red-heads.

"We figured that this was long overdue. We never could find you before the train. Why?"

Harry turned redder.  
"Well I may have… Stayed in the bathroom til the train arrived…"

"Harry if you had told us-"  
"NO!" Harry almost shrieked.  
"No! It's bad enough Ron and Hermione and Sirius and Remus and Madam Pomphrey and even bloody Snape know! I can't do this, he'll kill me!" Harry shuddered and fell to his knees.  
"Who, Harry?" Asked Fred softly, sharing a concerned glance with his twin.  
"No,"

"Your uncle… Right?" George said. Harry looked up, tears brimming in his eyes.  
"C'mon, wipe your eyes and up you get. We need to get back in the Hall before Umbitch comments." Fred and George each grabbed one of Harry's arms and yanked him to his feet. They escorted him back to the Hall where Ron immediately stood.  
"Mate I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking."  
"I know you weren't. But I don't care anymore, you've always been a tactless git." Harry said with a small smile. Ron grinned back and slapped Harry on the back who stiffened and winced.  
"Mate?"  
"I'm fine!" Harry replied quickly, marveling on how the wounds on his back hadn't completely sealed yet.

"Hagrid, will you read?" Dumbledore asked, with a twinkle towards the half-giant.

** ~Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley."**

**The giant chuckled darkly.**

**"Yet great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry."~**

"You have the right idea Hagrid!" Ginny cheered. Hagrid beamed at her as the Hall laughed.

**~He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful,-~**

Ron, Hermione and Charlie all snickered the loudest of the Gryffindors.  
"Hagrid's cooking is anything but wonderful Mate." Charlie whispered to Harry so Hagrid wouldn't hear.  
"They were good. Then again I hadn't eaten more than a bit of toast in three days but…" Harry shrugged, ignoring Charlie's growl.

** ~-but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."~**

"Slightly better Harry." Hermione teased.

"So glad you approve." Harry said in a fake jaunty voice.

**~The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.~**

Malfoy wrinkled his pointed nose in disgust and ignored the glares sent to him on all sides.

**~"Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts - yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course.~**

"No" Growled Bill.

**~"Er - no," said Harry.**

**Hagrid looked shocked.**

**"Sorry," Harry said quickly.~**

"Why are you apologizing Harry?" Asked Terry, confused.  
Harry turned red and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"I…ah… I…" Harry stuttered off a bit.  
"You were blamed for everything, weren't you Harry?" Remus said slowly. Harry blushed and nodded.  
"Well, I did always do something wrong and I had accidental-" But surprisingly Snape cut him off.  
"Potter don't make excuses for the Muggles, accidental magic was an accident and I doubt that your other mistakes were more than what everyone else does, irritating as you may be." Snape's tone was snappish, but his voice was slightly less cold than usual, especially after the Pensive incident.

**~"Sorry?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It' s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?"~**

"Hagrid he didn't know a thing." Mr. Weasley said quietly.

**~"All what?" asked Harry.**

**"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!"~**

"Oh dear," Lee said.  
"Hagrid is getting pissed." Fred and George chorused.  
"I don't know Greddie, which would you say is worse? Harry's temper or Hagrid?"

"I am pretty sure its… Can I have a drum-roll please?" Fred said, his voice like a TV announcer's. Lee conjured a drum and tossed it to Harry who grinned and pounded out a basic drum roll on the drum, ending with the smash of a cymbal.

"HARRY!" Yelled Lee, Fred, George, Bill and Charlie. Harry shook his head.  
"Have you ever pissed Hagrid off? I vote Hagrid." Harry said firmly.

"Let's have a vote then," Lee yelled, ignoring Umbridge's protest.

"Harry?" All of Harry's friends and basically the entire Gryffindor table along with a mix of the other tables raised their hands.  
"Thanks guys." Harry said sarcastically.

"Hagrid?" The rest of the Hall raised their hands.

"And it is… Drum roll?" Harry beat out another drum roll, this one louder with much banging of cymbals at the end.  
"HAGRID! Congratulations, sir!" Fred and George leaped up and shook Hagrid's hand with all four of theirs.

"Enough!" Shrieked Umbridge.  
"Continue!" Hagrid grinned at the twins and went on.

"Harry, how do you know drums?" Ron asked. Harry shrugged.  
"It's easy, I prefer the viola anyway, though I haven't played in years."  
"You play a classical instrument, Potter?" Sneered Malfoy, overhearing Ron and Harry's conversation.

"Yeah, it's difficult and you can play pretty much anything. Hell, even the school I went to had a Pops concert. Can you play the themes to most movies? Oh wait, wizards don't have movie theaters or television. My bad." Hermione said snappishly. Most just stared at her.  
"We really should make Muggle studies a required course with a Muggleborn's parent or a Muggle-integrated squib as teacher. No offense of course, Professor." Hermione continued. Most Muggleborns nodded and Professor Burbage shrugged.

"I have gotten tired of teaching the same things without knowing how to use most items and sounding foolish." She said to Dumbledore.

**~He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall.~**

"Fun thing to see the tables turned." Harry muttered bitterly.

**~"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy - this boy! - knows nothin' abou' - about ANYTHING?"~**

"Hagrid, Harry's gonna take that the wrong way!" Hermione said. Harry blushed.

**~Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.~**

"Doubt it, Potter." Sniffed Pansy Parkinson.

"Oh shut up, Pugginson." Ginny snapped. The Hall erupted into laughter, even some of the Slytherins laughed and Harry was sure the corners of Flitwick and McGonagall's mouths twitched.

"Can it Weaselby." Pansy snapped but Ginny just shrugged it off.

**~"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."~**

"Oh, Harry knows a lot," Fred started.  
"He knows maths," George said.  
"But not to mention the miscellaneous 'stuff'!" Fred added, winking at Harry.

"Oh shut up you two!"

** ~But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents' world."**

**"What world?"**

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.**

**"DURSLEY!" he boomed.~**

"Get the walrus Hagrid!" yelled Charlie.

**~Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry.**

**"But yeh must know about yet mom and dad," he said. "I mean, they're famous. You're famous."**

**"What? My - my mom and dad weren't famous, were they?"~**

"So you're told you're famous and the first thing you ask is whether you're parents are famous?" Colin Creevey said. Harry's friends laughed.  
"Well, I hadn't known anything about my parents. The only thing I was told about them was that they died in a car crash. And that they were freaks…" Harry said quietly.  
"Didn't your Aunt tell you about your Mum?" Asked Sirius, anger lacing his words.  
"Nothing good,"

**~"Yeh don' know... yeh don' know..." Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare.**

**"Yeh don' know what yeh are?" he said finally.~**

"Uh, that sounds kinda disparaging Hagrid." Said Hermione. Hagrid shrugged.

**~Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice.~**

"Of course," Groaned a Slytherin in sixth year.

**~"Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sit! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"~**

"Yeah, that's gonna work." Scoffed Ron.

**~A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.**

**"You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"~**

"Yes, yes they did." Harry said in a matter-of-fact voice.

**~"Kept what from me?" said Harry eagerly.**

**"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic.**

**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.~**

"DQ!" Shouted a first year.

"I love that place!" Said a muggleborn Ravenclaw.  
"Huh?" Most of the Hall asked.  
"I used to live in America before I was ten and there is an ice cream chain called Dairy Queen but we call it DQ for short. I do like Pinkberry a bit better."

"Pinkberry?"  
"Frozen yogurt. Kind of like ice cream but better."

Professor Burbage added "USA culture" to her list.

**~"Ah, go boil yet heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid.~**

"Good one Hagrid!" Said George.  
"Can we use it?" Lee said.  
"No Lee, we need to be like Harry's uncle. Go comb your hair!" Fred mocked. Harry, to his surprise, laughed.

** ~"Harry - yer a wizard."**

**There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.**

**"I'm a what?" gasped Harry.~**

"Nice reaction Harry." Ron said, grinning.

**~"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."**

**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea.~**

"Bit exact aren't they?" Chortled Bill.

** ~He pulled out the letter and read:**

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**

**Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**

**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)~**

"Nice titles Sir!" Called a Hufflepuff boy.  
"Thank you Derek."

**~-Dear Mr. Potter,**

**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.**

**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. Yours sincerely,**

**Minerva McGonagall,**

**Deputy Headmistress**

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"~**

"That's the first thing you ask?" Laughed Fred.  
"Well it was time sensitive." Pouted Harry.

**~"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid,-~**

"Hagrid, seriously can we use some of your sayings?" George asked. Hagrid nodded.

** ~-clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl - a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl~**

"Poor owl." Luna said. Hagrid looked slightly abashed.

** ~- a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:**

**Dear Professor Dumbledore,**

**Given Harry his letter.**

**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.**

**Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.**

**Hagrid~**

"You could read that upside down Harry?"

"I can't even read it straight up half the time!" Ron exclaimed after Harry nodded.

**~Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.~**

"It's the felly tone that's not normal!" Protested Ron.  
"It's the telephone Ronald!" Hermione sighed, exasperated.

**~Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.~**

"Slick Harry." Charlie joked and Harry turned red as the Hall laughed.

**~"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.**

**"He's not going," he said.~**

"Like a great Muggle could stop him." Scoffed Justin Finch-Fletchley.

**~Hagrid grunted.**

**"I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.~**

"Justin!" One of Justin's friends laughed. "You think like Hagrid!" Justin shrugged and grinned at Hagrid.

**~"A what?" said Harry, interested.**

**"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."~**

"In both ways!" Smirked Snape quietly.

**~"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"~**

"Stamp it out!?" Shrieked those who didn't know.

"Did they?" Harry wouldn't answer, just stared at the table until Hagrid continued.

**~"You knew?" said Harry. "You knew I'm a - a wizard?"**

**"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? ~**

Harry got pale and all who knew Lily screamed how she wasn't dratted.

** ~Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that-that school-and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was - a freak! ~**

At the word 'freak' Harry paled further and his fists clenched tight. The very word echoed inside his head, both the voices of his uncle and aunt ringing in his ears.

** ~But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"**

**She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years. ~**

"She had." Growled Harry.

**~"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as - as - abnormal - and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"~**

Silence.  
"That's how you found out, cub?" Remus asked, his eyes turning dangerously yellow. Harry nodded dully.

"THAT BITCH!" Screamed the Weasley children minus Percy, Remus, Sirius, Tonks and Hermione.

**~Harry had gone very white. ~**

Harry now mimicked the color.

** ~As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"**

**"CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"~**

"That, unfortunately, is still true." Harry groaned.  
"What, sick of annoying brats kissing your ass, Potter?" Malfoy sneered. Harry looked at him oddly.

"Yes Malfoy. I do not want to be famous. I don't want kids asking for my autograph when I'm getting school stuff. I don't want people looking me in the scar not the eyes. I don't want ANY of that! You know what I want, that you are very privileged to have?" Harry paused and Pansy cut in:

"Intelligence?" Crabbe and Goyle snickered.  
"No, though I'd imagine that's your greatest wish considering how even a fly wouldn't want to switch brains with you. What I want is a bloody family! IS effing parents! But they're gone and I've never known them! Or heard about them til Hogwarts! Hell, all I know is that I look like my dad, have eyes like my mum and they were Gryffindors. That is it! I didn't even know what they really looked like til I was eleven! If you want to be famous for having your parents killed and leaving you and having to live in a cupboard for ten years then its fine by me! Because who the Hell wants to be famous for having your family murdered and having that as your only memory of them!? HUH?!" Harry's voice rose higher and higher until he practically bellowed the last part.

"Read please Hagrid." Harry's voice cracked.

** ~"But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.**

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious.**

**"I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh - but someone's gotta - yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'."~**

"Can you imagine if you did?" Bill said.  
"Well I still didn't like all the looks I was getting." In unison all those who stared blushed and turned away after muttering:  
"Sorry Harry".

**~He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.**

**"Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh - mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it..."~  
**"Still is," Harry said quietly.

**~He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called - but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows -"**

**"Who? "~**

"Almost there, you just forgot the 'You-Know'" Remus said, trying to make a joke to relive tension.

**~"Well - I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."**

**"Why not?"**

**"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was..."~**

"Hang on! Fred I bet a Galleon he doesn't say it!" George cried.  
"No way, he'll say it!" Protested Fred. They pulled out a parchment and scribbled 'Bets' on the top.  
"Any others?" Called George. Lee and Angelina voted for yes against George, Bill, and Charlie.

**~Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.**

**"Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.**

**"Nah -can't spell it. All right - Voldemort. "~**

"Yes!" Cried the triumphant trio.

"Pay up please?" Angelina said in a fake sugary voice sticking her hand out. George, Charlie and Bill groaned and deposited the Galleons while Fred tucked the parchment away for later.

** ~Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this - this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too - some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches... terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him - an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.**

**"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day!~**

"Still no clue how Jamie managed that." Sirius whispered to Harry who grinned.

** ~Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.~**

"Damn straight!" Yelled Sirius.  
"Sirius! Language! There are firsties here!" Sirius turned to Mrs. Weasley whose lips hadn't moved and looked around, confused. Fred and George started cracking up with Bill as Charlie said, in the same voice:

"Are you looking for meeeee?"

"Charlie! We can make a Marauder out of you, yet!" Fred exclaimed, happily.

"I like my dragons." Charlie huffed.

**~"Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em... maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' - an' -"~**

Harry stared at the table again as the girls in the Hall tried not to cry, Hagrid balled his eyes out, and some guys even rubbed their noses, mock nonchalantly.

**~Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.**

**"Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad - knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find - anyway..."**

**"You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then - an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing - he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a Powerful, evil curse touches yeh - took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even - but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age - the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts - an' you was only a baby, an' you lived."~**

Everyone was looking at Harry again til he yelled:  
"For the love of Merlin, stop staring at me!" Everyone minus Snape and the Ministry officials jumped.

**~Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before - and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.~**

Those who had heard the laugh in first person (Snape and Harry) shuddered.

"You remembered that Harry?" Asked Hermione tearfully. Harry nodded.  
"And last June just reinforced it."

**~Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

**"Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot..."**

**"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.**

**"Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured -~**

The Hall roared into an outrage.  
"Harry he didn't!" Screamed most everyone. Harry shuddered back.

"Stop yelling!" He said weakly.

** ~-and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion~**

"That bloody motherfucker!" Screamed Remus and Sirius, forgetting the children in the Hall.  
"How dare that son of a fucking bitch say that!"

"Remus! Sirius!" Cried Mrs. Weasley.  
"What?!" They all but snarled.

"The children!"

"Yeah mum, cause the eleven year olds have never dropped the 'F' bomb before!" Fred and George said sarcastically, rolling their eyes.

** ~- asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types - just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -"~**

"Harry, we have permission to kill your uncle right?" Sirius snarled.

"No!" Harry shouted. Everyone stared at him like he'd grown two heads.

"Why?"  
"I don't want you going to Azkaban! It's bad enough that you were gone twelve years, I can't lose you again!" Harry said quietly. Sirius wrenched Harry into a tight hug.

**~But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley -I'm warning you - one more word... "~**

"BEWARE THE UMBRELLA WALRUS!" Shouted Fred and George.

**~In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.**

**"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.**

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.**

**"But what happened to Vol-, sorry - I mean, You-Know-Who?"~**

"The world's ending, Harry called Voldie 'You-Know-Who'!" Screamed Fred as George 'fainted'.

"Hang on, Voldie?" Malfoy exclaimed.

"Ew, I don't want to touch him!" Yelled George who came around. It's a miracle.

**~"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see... he was gettin' more an' more powerful - why'd he go?**

**"Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion.~**

"He did die! He's gone!" Screeched Umbitch.

"No he didn't, he's back." Harry said matter-of-factly.

** ~Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don't reckon they could've done if he was comin' back.~**

"Or they faked it," Ron said, throwing a contemptuous glare at Malfoy.

**~"Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on - I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."**

**Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?~**

"Doesn't work that way cub." Remus said softly.

**~"Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard."~**

"Can you imagine?" Laughed Bill.

**~To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled.**

**"Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"**

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it... every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry... chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach... dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back... and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?~**

"Oh shit. Voldemort's snake is a boa constrictor…" Harry muttered. Then he said loudly:  
"Uh, Professor Dumbledore? I _may _have given Voldemort Nagini? Uh, is there any… um consequence for me to have given him a big-ass snake?"

Dumbledore laughed, though he didn't look at Harry, and shook his head.

**~Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him.**

**"See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard - you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."**

**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

**"Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish - spell books and wands and -"**

**"If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter' s son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled-"**

**"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL To TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.~**

"Alright, that was bad." Fred said.

"Bets!" Shouted George.  
"Whose gonna be the target for Hagrid's rage? I say Vernon!" Lee shouted. Many agreed with him.  
"I say Dudders the pig!" Ginny said. Few agreed with her but the Galleons were placed.

**~But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER," he thundered, "- INSULT- ALBUS- DUMBLEDORE- IN- FRONT- OF- ME!"**

**He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley - there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.~**

Silence. Then the Hall erupted in raucous laughter as Ginny and her friends collected their money.

**~Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.**

**"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."~**

More laughter.

**~He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows.**

**"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff - one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job**

**"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.**

**"Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore." "Why were you expelled?"**

**"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly.~**

"I bet twenty Galleons they find out!" Fred cried.  
"You're on!" The bet was written down, the money placed in a bag conjured by Bill and the reading continued.

** ~"Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."**

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry.**

**"You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' dormice in one o' the pockets."~**

"Ew." Cried Lavender Brown.

"Oh grow a pair!" Snapped Ron.

"Now, we shall have a short-" Dumbledore began to announce when a flash of purple light flooded the room and a cloud of orange smoke appeared. There was several muffled ouch's before the fog cleared and everyone stared at the newcomers. There was a young adult man with messy hair and glasses, a woman with red hair and shockingly green eyes, and a man with a pale face and black hair.

"What the Hell?" The man with glasses said. Harry just stared at them. He recognized them, except for the third, from his photo album.

Harry was looking at his parents.

He frantically turned to Sirius, then Remus who had odd expressions on their faces. Then back to the people.  
"This is some sort of sick joke, isn't it? Some trap? SOMETHING!?" His voice became more frantic and he tried to keep his eyes from welling up with tears.

"Stop! Who the bloody hell thinks this is funny?! What sadistic bastard thinks this is funny!?"

"What's this kid's problem?" James muttered to Lily. Tears came to Harry's eyes but he didn't let them fall.

"Hey! Moony! Padfoot! You guys look older!" James exclaimed, seeing his best friends.

"Oh is Potty crying about his parents?!" Mocked Malfoy. Harry looked at him before rising, his wand in hand, mysterious wind in all.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" Harry all but bellowed. His wand was at Malfoy's throat again.

"Why! Why do you choose to mock someone about something like this?! Why the bloody Hell can't you just keep your damn mouth shut!? Why is it so fucking hard for you to do? WHY!?" Harry's voice cracked. He shoved Malfoy in the chest and sat back down, breathing heavily.

"Harry, calm down. Calm down. It's gonna be fine." Remus said soothingly, rubbing his back.

"Moony? Who the Hell is that kid?"

Remus and Sirius stood and left Harry in the care of his friends before approaching the two people they believed to be dead.

"That, is Harry James Potter." James' eyes widened.  
"He's you and Lily's son. Severus, over there is you. You're a Potions Master and teach at Hogwarts." The younger Snape looked up to his older self in surprise. He walked over to Dumbledore, for explanations while Remus and Sirius explained things to Lily and James.

"So we die on Halloween? And Harry's left with my sister?!" Lily exclaimed. Sirius nodded.  
"Where were you two!?" James roared.

"I was in Azkaban." Sirius said.  
"He's innocent." Remus cut in before James could say anything.  
"And laws prevented me from seeing him." Remus continued.

"Where is he?" Remus pointed and Lily and James walked over to their son, who was sitting hunched over at the table, head buried in his arms. Lily touched Harry on the shoulder but he flinched back and didn't speak. James looked helplessly to Sirius who said softly:  
"Sit next to him." So Lily and James sat on either side of their son while Severus sat in-between his older self and Dumbledore.

"Harry, guess what?" Fred said.  
No response, but that didn't deter Fred.  
"Now we can all go pranking! The three real Marauders, you, and Greddie and I!" Harry looked up through his tear-reddened eyes and said:  
"I told you. I'm not going to prank with you til that snake-faced bastard is dead. And maybe not even then."  
"Aw! Harrykins! Please!" George wheedled.  
"Bite me." Harry snapped.

"Now Harold James Potter, don't take that tone of voice with us." Fred waggled a fake reprimanding finger at me.  
"Padfoot, my name isn't actually Harold is it?" Harry asked frantically. James and Lily exchanged concerned looks. _He didn't even know his legal name?_

"No, it's Harrison."  
"Sirius! Why tell them that!?" Harry groaned, sitting up and letting his parents look him over for the first time.  
"You look so much like me." James said.  
"But with my eyes." Lily finished for him. Harry looked at his parents in the flesh for the first time he could remember, and smiled a small smile.

**A/N: **Here it is! HOORAY!


	5. Chapter 5- Letters part 1

Here it is guys! Sorry I seperated it, but I wanted to upload but didn't have enough time. Check it though!  
-

Ouch Ms. Rowling – A reading the HP books

Chapter 5 – Letters part 1

Harry was ushered along with his parents and all of those who had been in the briefing before the reading began, into a large room adjacent to the Great Hall.

"Why are we in here?" Neville asked, confused.  
"Don't you remember Longbottom, we were supposed to get letters. Well, I don't see any. Lying eh Potter?" Malfoy scoffed.

"Can it Malfoy, you should be lucky to even get a letter!" Ron exclaimed.

Malfoy was about to retort when Snape cut him off.

"Alright, let's get this over with so we can go back and hurry these torturous books up." For once in his short life Harry completely agreed with the snarky Potions git.

"Okay, are we all here?" Dumbledore asked quietly. When everyone was accounted for the door swung shut and a strange golden aura permeated the elegant door. The furniture in the strange room was simple, couches and loveseats of the rich Hogwarts purple with the legs a dark honey color.

As if on cue a flash of golden light erupted inside the room along with a haze of aquamarine fog.

Sirius swore and was promptly reprimanded by both Lily and Mrs. Weasley.

On the dark brown coffee table there was a small bundle of letters.  
"I suppose these are the letters." Harry stated quietly, still in awe of his parents' sudden arrival. The three had barely exchanged a word since they came there but Harry stared at them hungrily s if waiting for them to vanish the second he blinked. It all seemed too good to be true, considering how the lesson "When it is good it won't stay that way" that was literally beaten into him as a child thanks to his less than loving relatives.

Lily and James exchanged looks at the small boy by their sides. He was… different than either of them could have predicted. Both had been boisterous, James sometimes to the point of annoying, during school but Harry was quiet, shy and serious. His eyes were dulled with pain, with grief, and with guilt, things no child should have to bear with.

Fred and George Weasley, ever eager raced to the table and soon found their letter amidst the stack. They ripped it open and read, their eyes almost a blur, similar to Hermione's when cramming for exam time.

The rest of the group meandered over and located each of their letters. Tonks and Remus shared a letter, as did the Weasley parents, and the professors sans Snape and McGonagall.

Harry opened his with trembling fingers and allowed his eyes to wander down the page.  
_Harry, _

_I did not use a Quick-Quotes-Quill this time, so no annoying comments. It seems strange to write to myself, almost as if writing to a long-lost brother. We change Harry, the war that is brewing now changes us more than the Dursleys or the first years at Hogwarts did (except, perhaps fourth year). The war feels long and hard and Ron, Hermione and I have felt beyond the lowest of the low. Tom Riddle gained too much power, and sent Muggleborns everywhere to death and hiding. However, before I start rambling I need you to do something. When the reading of the first book is over I want you to see Dumbledore (I know you aren't too happy with him now) and demand he tell you of the prophecy. Yes, a prophecy. I know Trelawney's classes are a load of horse shit but prophecies are very, __**very**__, real. It is hard to explain exactly, the prophecy and this is why I ask you to seek out Dumbledore. While he is a wise man, he is or was blinded by his beliefs in "The Greater Good", and that when I arrived at Hogwarts I still had a childhood. As you and I both know the old coot was mistaken. Our childhood ended when we were three years old. Now, try to get to know Sirius and Remus and our parents better. Don't be mistaken, you aren't getting your parents back for life. They cannot change what has happened, only the live people can change the future… For you. _

_I believe it is time to be honest with you, and myself. Sirius' death later in fifth year hits us hard. And I feel the guilt of it weighing me down every day. Remus' death hits you hard as well, but you are a great godfather to Teddy Remus Lupin. Remus and Tonks are together, just get the notion that Remus is abnormal out of his asinine head. You and I both know what it's like to be called a freak, and it's no picnic. We have a hard time coming to terms with that as well. As for Severus, well the Potions git… He is not what he seems. He is blinded by his hatred of James Potter. I beg of you to tell Sirius and our father to get their heads out of their arses and grow up. They can't afford to be children anymore, the war won't let that happen. There is death all around you once the war starts, but you can't blame yourself, no matter what._

_Good Luck,  
Harry Potter_" Harry finally looked up from his letter after re-reading it several times. He locked his slightly wet eyes with Sirius, whose own looked a bit watery. Harry let out a whimper and flung himself at Sirius who caught him and held him tight.

Across the room Snape sliced open his own letter, curious of what the Boy-Who-Lived had to say to him.  
_Dear Professor Snape, er Severus, er Sir,_

_I know you have many preconceptions about… um me, and none are good. But you have to admit those questions you asked on the first ever day of Potions class were outrageous. The answers are: The Draught of Living Death, the stomach of a goat, and there is no difference at all, they are the same plant also by the name of Aconite. In that order sir. And when you insulted me, all I was doing was writing your speech down. Want me to prove it? _**"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making, As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." **_Impressed sir? Sorry. I am getting kind of emotional because of writing a bunch of these letters. It hurts, y'know sir? Sorry for rambling, I'm sure you don't want to hear it. Well, at the end of my sixth year you killed Albus Dumbledore. Don't worry sir, you planned this with Albus Dumbledore so that Draco Malfoy doesn't have to. After Dumbledore dies you become Headmaster of Hogwarts. For only a year sadly. During the Final Battle of Hogwarts Tom Riddle (Lord Voldemort) calls you to the Shrieking Shack. I snuck down there underneath my Invisibility Cloak and watched the entire thing. Riddle mistakenly thought if he murdered you, he would be the rightful owner of the Elder Wand when Draco Malfoy, then myself really was. He set his disgusting snake Nagini after you and left the Shack laughing like the split-soul bastard he is. I rushed in, if only I had kept a spare Healing Potion or a bezoar or something. I'm so sorry sir, I should have helped you more. When I watched you die you gave me your memories and it made me understand… I know you are blinded by your hatred of James Potter and I'm sorry I look like him, because, in all honesty, I was looking forward to Potions and then you had to go and crush my hopes. I only wish that you could have seen everything… Because I think you would have been the one to get me out of the Dursleys Hell before I turned seventeen. I think I should tell you, I named my youngest son after the two greatest Headmasters Hogwarts has ever seen. His name is Albus Severus Potter, we call him Al or Sev for short. Sir, you are, without a doubt the bravest man I have ever known._

_Sincerely,_

_Harry_

Severus looked up surprised at seeing the tearstains down the parchment.

"Potter…" He started to say but changed his mind. He was sure it would come up in the books and the boy was busy being held by his Dogfather. As Severus reread the letter he felt a crushing sense of guilt. He should have seen the signs of abuse, when he thought back it was obvious. The child flinched whenever Severus loomed over him, or even yelled across the room at a foolish Gryffindor. Severus looked up to find Potter staring at him through red-rimmed eyes.

"Potter…" For once Severus couldn't think of what to say.  
"Professor, Sirius,-" A pause.

"-Dad, my future self gave me some advice. He, er, I mean I, said that, and I quote "To get your heads out of your arses and grow up". Harry flinched, expecting to be hit for such a brash statement, throwing an arm up to shield himself. He was beyond shocked when Snape, not Sirius, caught it and slowly lowered it.  
"Potter, there is no need for that." Snape said slowly and firmly, his obsidian eyes declaring that he will talk to Harry later, no exceptions.

Sirius nodded firmly.

"We didn't take offense Harry, I think your older self is right myself." James said. Sirius and Snape stared at him in shock.  
"What?"  
"Nothing Jamie, but I agree. I don't want Harry thinking I'm a total bullying ass. Yes Harry, Remus told me." Severus' eyes widened.  
"You insolent little brat! Who else did you tell!?" Severus snarled, shaking the boy by his shoulders.  
"Who!?"  
"Sev!" Lily almost yelled as she stormed over, hair flying.  
Severus looked up at her, then down to her son who was trembling.  
"N-no no! I'm sorry, no! Please! I'm sorry!" Harry whimpered, eyes wide and glassy.

"Dammit Severus!" Sirius snarled, ignoring the fact that he called Snape by his first name for the first time. Snape carefully removed his hands from Harry's shoulders and began to talk in a manner one would use to calm a frightened colt.  
"Harry, everything is fine. You are safe here, your Aunt and Uncle are not here, nor will they ever be. You are perfectly safe." Severus said in a slow, soothing voice. Harry slowly calmed down, but his shaking continued.

"I-I only told them! Not even Ron or Mione! I swear! Please don't hit me!" Harry begged. Severus's blood froze. He hadn't realized how much he had terrified the boy.

"Harry I am never going to raise a hand in anger to you, and neither will James, Lily, Sirius, Remus or any other… proper adult here." Sirius nodded and rubbed Harry's back.

Across from the small huddle around Harry, Hermione opened her letter.

_Dear Mione,_

_Mione, I still can't believe all three of us live through the war. We are very lucky. Now, Mione, I know and so does everyone else, that you and Ron like each other. Sorry, but it is completely obvious. Now, as we all know, right now Ron has his head up his arse and can't realize he loves you as more than a friend. I love you as a friend Mione. I know it may shock you but we do not go to Hogwarts for our last year. We all head out to stop Voldemort. It involves a year of camping. Enjoy. _

_Anyways, Mione I know this book will bring up hard things, especially in the next chapters to come. Ron being mean to you, the troll, you setting Snape on fire. Yeah, good luck with that one. I hope you can help change the future and save the lives we lost. The war changes us all, enjoy Hogwarts now. All Hell breaks loose at the end of sixth year. You become an amazing Healer. Thank Merlin, because Ron and I are Aurors. _

_Stay calm and carry on,_

_Harry_

Hermione looked up from her letter, smiling sadly.

_Ron, Harry and I make it through. _When she looked up she saw Ron looking at her. Both turned bright red and turned away. Sirius looked over at them, grinning knowingly. He leaned over to James.  
"Prongs how long d'you think it'll take?" James grinned.  
"Seventh year."  
"That long?" Sirius asked, confused.  
"Ron's a Weasley. Remember Arthur? He can't get his head out of his arse." James winked.

Speaking of Ron, he was over in a corner, reading his letter away from the prying eyes of the twins.

_Dear Ron,_

_Hey mate! I still can't believe you, me and Mione all made it! Now mate, I know you like Mione. Get over it, it's obvious. Completely ignore Lavender Brown, she isn't worth the time or energy. Speaking of which, ignore Romilda Vane. And her chocolate cauldrons. And mead Slughorn gives you. Don't worry, you will find out what I mean later. Stop with your jealousy Ron. Harry, well I, am very jealous of you. You have everything we've ever wanted: a loving family. All I had was riches I'd give up for a day with my parents. You abandon me twice Ron. Both when I needed it most. You abandoned me during the Triwizard Tournament. Seriously! You were jealous for me about to die!? Are you kidding me!? I do not want to be The-Boy-Who-Lived or the Chosen One or anything! I want parents and I can't get those anymore. And then when we are off hunting to kill Voldemort. You just get up and leave. Listen to my written word. I like Hermione as a friend only! I do not like her! I don't want you jealous of me ever! Just think in the fourth book what everyone is going to say. Let young Harry explain. Please Ron, I need my best mate._

_Mates forever - which is totally not like a guy BFF or anything, _

_Harry_

Ron looked up and walked to Harry.  
"Mate? I'm sorry I've been a jealous ass." He looked at his old trainers.  
"It's fine mate." Harry said quickly.  
"No Harry, it's not. I've been a complete idiot and apparently I don't change til it's too late. I just want to… to say I'm sorry." Ron stuck out a hand and Harry took it and pulled Ron into a side man-hug.

"Thanks mate."

Hey guys I've been real busy with school and everything but I will try and upload sooner than this past. I'm so sorry again. Please read, review, follow, favorite. :)

Courtney


	6. Chapter 6- Letters part 2

Ouch Ms. Rowling – A reading the HP books fic

WARNING: Slight violence, and a very pissed off red-head. I own no characters, it is all JKR's! Enjoy!

Chapter 6 – Letters part 2

Fred and George found their letter; it wasn't surprising that they shared one.

_Dear Gred and Forge, _

_Man, I've missed that joke. I haven't heard it since the end of sixth year… I don't know how to say this, so let me be frank. Fred, you die in the Final Battle. Percy had just joined us again from his row and less than five minutes later you get hit, your last laugh on your face. George, after that you aren't the same. You don't joke, smile, or laugh. You are missing something and that something is your twin. You kill yourself a few years after Fred dies, because you couldn't bear another birthday and April Fools day without your brother. Both of your deaths hit all of us hard. You guys adopted me into the Weasley family and made Hogwarts even more of a home to me. Please change the future and save both of yourselves! I can't live without your laughs anymore! I miss you both so much! I can't imagine life without you after I knew I had a chance to have you guys laugh again._

_Love,_

_Your little brother Harry_

The twins finished reading at the same time and immediately clung to each other.  
"Don't leave me Greddie!" Screamed George, tears rolling down his face.  
"Nooo! I won't Forgie! I won't! Nooooo!" Fred screamed back, his face wet. Everyone in the room looked over at the heart-wrenching display.

"What pussies." Scoffed Malfoy, but his face was pale.

"You little shit!" Screamed Ron, launching himself at the boy.

"You! SON! Of! A FUCKING BITCH!" Ron roared, red clouding his vision as he punched Malfoy over and over.

"Ron!" Yelled Harry, pulling his arm back. Ron, in blind rage, turned around and socked Harry hard in the face too. Harry stumbled back, wiping blood from his nose. He wasn't fazed though, he rushed forward and shoulder- checked Ron off Malfoy. The adults in the room looked on in shock as the small, thirteen year-old looking fifteen year-old wrestled his much larger best friend to the ground and kept him there.  
"Someone get the Ferret fixed up before I punch that bastard after I calm Ron down." Harry said in a forceful voice. James and Lily were shocked to hear how much an adult Harry sounded like.

"Ron, calm down. Now." Harry pinned Ron's arms to his chest with one hand and had one knee on Ron's chest.  
"Calm the fuck down, Now." Ron slowly came back to his senses and saw his friend over him, blood dripping from his nose.  
"Mate? What happened?" To his surprise Harry let out a laugh. He let Ron up and shakily stood.  
"I'm sorry mate, but just, your face… You just beat up Malfoy and broke my nose when I tried to stop you." Harry laughed again and pointed his wand at his face. The adults gasped and Sirius warned: "Harry,"

"I know this; I do it at least yearly." Harry sighed.  
"Episky." With a resounding "Crack!" Harry's nose was fixed.

"Okay, everyone. Go back to your knitting." Ron announced a sloppy grin on his face.

Everyone else quickly busied themselves with their letters. Fred and George wiped their faces in unison and walked over to Ron.  
"Ronnie," Fred started.  
"Thanks,"

"You know,"

"For kicking the Ferret's arse for us." George cracked a grin.

"No problem. I couldn't stand what he said." Ron smiled. The three came together and had a group hug. Harry couldn't help but look on wistfully until Fred and George grabbed him too.

Sirius opened his letter after watching his godson hug his adoptive brothers.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Sirius, I am so sorry! I was so stupid! I should have learned Occlumency like Dumbledore and Snape said and not fallen for the trap! I am so sorry Sirius! I killed you two years after you escaped! You weren't even cleared during your life! I'm sorry Sirius I am! In a few months I see a vision planted in my mind from Voldemort. I see him, torturing you in the Department of Mysteries. I panicked and got out of the school with Luna, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and Neville and we went and then we got the Prophecy, it smashed. The Order came and you did too and then Bellatrix stunned you and you fell into the Veil. Sirius I am so sorry, I still feel the guilt so much. Please fix this, I can't lose you Sirius, I can't! Please Sirius! Please! Please! I love you Sirius! Don't leave me please! I miss you everyday! This Harry can't lose you! Please!_

_Love you forever Paddy, you're the next best thing to a Dad I have, you and Remus. But when you tell Harry he isn't like his dad. Well, that I'm less like Dad than you thought. Sirius that, to be honest, that broke my heart. That hurt so bloody much and then you vanished and I didn't see you for ages. And all our talk was "Keep safe, don't do anything stupid". Sirius I love you, but I know how to! I haven't been a child since I was one! Where were you then!? You chased the rat! You weren't around! You've seen the scars by now haven't you? Why!?  
I'm sorry Sirius! Please forgive me,_

_Harry_

The parchment was covered in tear-streaks.  
"Pup, don't blame yourself! Ever!" Sirius said fiercely, pulling Harry into a tight hug. Sirius sobbed into Harry's hair, unable to control his emotions after this taxing day. Sirius held Harry tight and ran his fingers through the boy's unruly hair.

_What was in the letter? _James mouthed to Lily.

She shrugged and James picked up the letter.

"Mind, mate?" He asked Sirius who shook his head.

Lily and James sat close together with Remus reading over their shoulders. They all finished and held onto Sirius and Harry as well.

"Don't blame yourself Cub." Remus whispered in Harry's ear.

Across the room Malfoy was patched up and reading his letter with a scornful expression on his face.  
_Draco,_

_You change a lot once Voldemort commissions you to kill Albus Dumbledore. Yes, you read that sentence right. Your last years at Hogwarts are Hell, starting sixth year. You try all year to kill Headmaster Dumbledore, living in fear for your life. You have the Dark Mark. Being a Death Eater means being tortured for nothing by an insane genocidal hypocrite. Yes, Lord Voldemort is a half-blood born in an orphanage. In case you were wondering, the reason I didn't take your hand on the train was first impressions. The reason I chose Gryffindor over Slytherin was because of you. You insulted the first two friends I had ever had and insulted my dead parents. And you were spoiled and reminded me of the boy who made my life hell for ten years. You are a bullying asshole who is ignorant of the world. Get your head out of your arse and grow the fuck up. You have no true friends at Hogwarts, only Death Eater trainees who are foolish. I recommend befriending Theodore Nott. I'm friends with him, despite what Ron thinks. Don't worry, in the years to come I help get over the prejudice against Slytherins. Please ignore your father's teachings. It wrecks your life completely. _

_Sincerely,_

_Harry_

Draco looked up, surprised. He couldn't deny that some of Potter's words were true. Vince and Greg were more like mindless cronies than actual friends. Come to think of it, he wasn't sure he had ever had a conversation with them that didn't consist mostly of his own winging about Potter with Vince and Greg nodded and grunting. He spotted Potter and Weasley talking and then the twin Weasels came up to them and they all hugged. He wanted to comment, but he saw the disapproving look in Professor Snape's eyes. Then he spotted Potter's eyes. He looked to be in total disbelief that anyone could possibly care about him.

Sitting across from the pondering blond was Bill Weasley, opening up his letter.

_Dear Bill, _

_Bill, I only really got to know you very well after the Final Battle, but even before you made me feel at home whenever I went to the Burrow. I'm sorry, but you get attacked by Fenrir Greyback the werewolf, even though the full moon wasn't around. You have some… erm wolf-like tendencies, but Fleur is very supportive of your cravings for raw meat. You remember Fleur Delacour don't you? Heh. Well, you marry her the summer after my sixth year._

_I still am in your debt for caring for me, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Dean, Griphook and Mr. Ollivander after we are tortured at Malfoy Manor._

_Your Little Brother,_

_Harry_

Bill looked up with a soppish grin on his face. He leaned over to Charlie and whispered:

"I marry Fleur!" Charlie looked sharply at him.  
"Seriously?"  
Bill nodded. Charlie swore.

"Lucky bastard."

Remus and Tonks were viewing their letter, turning pink with each word.

_Remus, Tonks,_

_I am so sorry. I didn't mean for the Battle of Hogwarts to be right after Teddy was born, I swear. Let me explain. Remus, first get your head out of your arse, I know for a fact Tonks doesn't give a damn about your Lycanthropy. Right Tonks? Remus I love you, but seriously (no comment) I don't care, my dad didn't care, Sirius didn't/doesn't care, Tonks doesn't care, Ron doesn't care, Hermione doesn't care, all of your students from your year of teaching (minus some Slytherins, but most of even them liked you) they don't care! We all love you Remy! And Tonks, take care of him. You two have an adorable son named Teddy Remus Lupin. You two marry. This time Harry better get to be at the wedding. Teddy is not a werewolf, but he is a Metamorphagus. He has an affinity for the color green for his hair, kind of ironic for a Gryffindor, no? Remus, Tonks you die before I can tell you this. I am honored that you chose me to be his godfather. I love Teddy as my own son, as I wish you Remus, or Sirius would have done with me. You most likely have found out about the Dursleys by now. It doesn't matter now I guess. _

_Love you both,_

_Harry_

Tonks looked at Remus just as he did the same. They both blushed and quickly turned away. Remus looked at her from the corner of his eye and spotted her doing the same. They both flushed even deeper. Finally Remus screwed up all his Gryffindor courage and turned to her.  
"Um, hi." She giggled a little.

"Hi," Tonks managed to squeak out.  
"So, uh, do you care about…?" Remus asked awkwardly.  
"No, not at all. I think it's terrible that people judge others because of something they can't control. Does changing into a wolf once a month make you any less of a wizard?! No, of course not!" Tonks ranted. Then, once she finished she spotted the look on Remus's face and turned even more red.  
"Wow, that's brilliant!" He exclaimed with a boyish grin.

"Thanks," They sat in a more comfortable silence now as everyone else finished up their letters.

Professor McGonagall stifled a laugh as she saw her former student blushing as red as a tomato in front of the Hufflepuff girl. She sighed and turned to her letter from Harry Potter.

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_I know I never really went to you ever in my years at school and I doubt that will change. I just wanted to thank you for being my Head of House and allowing me on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as a first year, flying is still what makes me happiest even after this war. I know that the war was hard on anyone, and Professor Dumbledore's death hits you hard. _

_Please be careful Professor,  
Harry J. Potter_

McGonagall looked up at the small boy. It was true, the child had never willingly come to her at any point.

Percy Weasley wondered what the lying Harry Potter has to say to him.

_Dear Percy,_

_I know that you probably are wondering what "a liar like me" would say to you. Okay, stop being such a prat and make up with your family. You do, but too late, after a minute of being a whole family again, Fred is killed. You never forgive yourself after that and don't work again, you just support your family from home, lest one is struck down and you aren't there.  
Please fix this and save yourself Percy.  
Harry _

Then, on the back of the letter there was a postscript.  
**_Percy, its Ron. Your words hurt Harry more than you most likely imagined. That was the first time we saw Harry cry._**

Percy looked up at Harry, surprised. He thought back and didn't remember Harry ever crying.

Charlie stopped glaring at Bill and opened up his own letter.  
_Dear Charlie,_

_After the war, we get to know each other more. You even took me to Romania to see your work with dragons on one of my days off! It was amazing, thank you so much! You make it through the battle fairly unscathed but you don't joke around as much, since Fred died. Thanks though, for letting me feel at home when I went to the Burrow, even if we didn't really talk all that much then.  
Your little brother,_

_Harry_

Ginny opened her letter warily, after gauging everyone else's reactions.

_Dear Ginny,_

_Hey Gin, I am happy to say, you make it out of the war safe. Now you're married and have three kids. I've been told not to say to whom. Sorry. I don't really have much to advise you on, just stay safe and tread carefully.  
See you around,_

_Harry_

Ginny was blushing hard by the time she finished reading the letter. She sat down next to Luna who was reading her own letter.

_Dear Luna,_

_Luna, since the end of the war, we have all become pretty great friends. I still am indebted to you for helping out everyone in the basement of Malfoy Manor. Sorry about that, still. I'm sorry I don't have much to say but stay just like you._

_Your friend,  
Harry_

Luna smiled serenely at Harry who grinned back nervously, wondering what the hell his future self said.

The Weasley parents smiled at all the children's smiles at Harry, who seemed oblivious. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley then opened their own letter.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,_

_I just wanted to thank you and apologize. I really am so sorry that I've endangered your family's life so many times. I really don't mean to, I'm sorry again. I nearly got every member of your family killed. And one of them actually killed. I'm sorry I got Fred killed, I didn't mean too, I swear! But thank you again for practically adopting me, it felt so weird to be in a house where everyone seemed to like me. Thank you again._

_Your adopted son,  
Harry _

Across the room, Narcissa Malfoy opened her own letter.  
_Dear Mrs. Malfoy,_

_You were under the Imperious curse until you were married to Lucius and pregnant with Draco. If you ask Sirius, he will be able to renounce your wedding, seeing as he is the Lord of the Black household, if you want. I don't really know you at all, but I do know that the war wrecks both your and your son's lives. _

_Good Luck,  
Harry Potter_

Narcissa was surprised to say the least. She didn't expect Potter to send her a letter, let alone give her a way to get out of her hellish marriage.

Neville tore open his letter with trembling fingers.  
_Neville, mate!  
We become real good friends after the final battle. Just telling you now, be proud: you kill a motherfuckin' snake with Gryffindor's sword! Oh yeah! Now, it doesn't matter if you aren't a carbon-copy of your Dad, you are one kickass Herbology teacher. Sev (My son, Albus Severus Potter) loves your class especially. You also brought down the discrimination against Slytherin, just like I did. You are a pretty good speech giver. Nev just tell your Gran that you aren't your father. It helps. Now, we all know about your fear of Snape. These books will expose some of your insecurities and other things you have kept hidden. The books will reveal almost as much about you as myself. Well important things, family-wise._

_Good luck mate,  
Harry_

Neville smiled as he finished reading the letter.

"Alright, has everyone finished their letters?" Snape announced. Everyone nodded and the whole group went back into the Great Hall to start the next chapter.

Author's Note:  
This actually was put up quickly. Rate and review and be harsh! I can handle it! Thanks for reading, expect a new update… Eventually… :)


	7. Chapter 7 - Dumbledore and the BWL

Ouch Ms. Rowling! – A reading the books fic

Chapter 7 – and "The Boy Who Lived"

Shortly after sitting once again in the Great Hall a final letter appeared in front of the aged Headmaster himself.  
_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I am sorry for the delay, but this is probably the most difficult letter for me to have written. I need to tell you this now sir:_

_Please just tell me, well younger me everything. I have not had a real childhood and your necessity to have me find out everything for myself just made my seventh year hell. I will tell you now, before anyone else: I do not go to Hogwarts for my seventh year. I chase Horcruxes instead, with just Ron and Hermione because you die. I am sure you will see, the way I think about you, and what I have to say is clear in these books sir._

_Sincerely,  
Harry Potter_

Dumbledore sighed after reading the letter, and handed the book to Flitwick to read so he could think.  
"We are going to be reading the first chapter as background information for those from the past." Umbridge announced.

Flitwick began to read in his high-pitched, squeaky voice. 

**~THE BOY WHO LIVED~**

At his words, Fred and George jumped up and frantically pointed at Harry, leaping around like crazed schoolgirls on a sugar high.

**~Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.~**

"Booooooring!" Cried out Fred, George, Sirius and James in the exact sing-song voices. The professors groaned, knowing that this would be a very long couple of days.

** ~They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.~**

"Of course you don't." Harry muttered angrily.

**~Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. ~**

Fred wolf-whistled.  
"What a charmer!" Exclaimed George in a fake falsetto voice.

** ~Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors.~**

"That sounds a bit like my…" Lily trailed off.  
"It is, and she hasn't changed." Harry said bitterly. Snape was surprised to say the least, that's exactly what he would have said.

"Oh I pity you," Severus (younger Snape) said from Lily's other side. Harry looked over, surprised that the younger version of his professor spoke to him in such a… civil manner.  
"Uncle Vernon's worse though," Harry added as if an afterthought, shaking his head a bit. Those who knew of Harry's secret growled, even Snape.

** ~The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere. ~**

"Sorry, small?!" Exclaimed George.  
"Fine?!" Fred shouted.  
"Bullshit!" They chorused.  
"Misters Weasley!" Scolded McGonagall.

**~The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. ~**

"What is it?" Sirius and Remus exclaimed in unison, a mischievous twinkle in their eyes.

**They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.-"~  
**"Why would they be ashamed of the Potters?" Asked Mrs. Weasley, confused. Harry shifted uncomfortably and gestured for Professor Flitwick to continue.**  
~"Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband-"~  
** At this Sirius and Remus jumped up.  
"James wasn't good-for-nothing!" they shouted, furious. **  
**"Thanks guys, but I know I'm not good-for-nothing." James said, smiling at his friends in a rare serious moment of the Maurder's adventures.**  
~"- were as unDursleyish as possible."~  
**"Is that even a word?" asked George.  
Hermione shook her head.  
"Does it matter?" Drawled Draco, to the snickers of Crabbe and Goyle.  
**~"The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbours would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that."~**  
"Like what exactly?!" Growled Mrs. Weasley, Lily, and the rest of the Weasleys, sans Percy.  
**~"When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, grey Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.**

**None of them noticed a large tawny owl flutter past the window.~**

"Of course not," Sneered Pansy Parkinson. "Muggles don't pay attention to anything."

**~At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. 'Little tyke,' chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.-"~**

"Little tyke? More like little monster to me!" said Ginny. Everyone but Snape laughed, as he had to hide his chuckle.  
**~"It was on the corner of the street that he noticed something peculiar - a cat reading a map.-"~**  
"Minnie!" Shouted Sirius and James. Harry just grinned at his young-again godfather's antics.  
"Minnie?" All the students asked.  
"I dare you to call her that again, Misters Potter and Black." McGonagall hissed. James and Sirius turned pale and Flitwick continued reading.

**~For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen - then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said ****_Privet Drive_**** - no ****_looking_**** at the sign; cats couldn't read maps ****_or _****signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind.-"~**

"Regular cats can't read..." started George.

"But Minnie can!" shouted Fred.  
"Silence Weasleys." Snapped Snape. Severus looked at him incredulously. They were funny!  
**~"As he drove towards he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.**

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes - the get-ups you saw on young people!-"~**

"Why were all the wizards not in Muggle clothing unless..." McGonagall said softy, her eyes widening.

"It must be November first." said Remus sadly. The students looked confused but the adults nodded their heads, knowingly. James, Severus and Lily looked the most confused out of the lot.  
**~"He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him!~  
**"Yes the nerve of him!" Fred said in a mock-angry tone.**  
~But then it struck Mr. Dursley that it was probably some silly stunt - these people were obviously collecting for something ... yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on, and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings car park, his mind back on drills.**

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. ****_He_**** didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead."~**

"He didn't even notice a bunch of owls swarming all over the place!?" asked Hermione, shocked.

"Talk about unobservant." said Ginny.

**~"Most of them had never seen an owl even at night-time. Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more."~**

"Your uncle's a real charmer Harry." said Tonks sarcastically.

**~"He was in a very good mood until lunch-time when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the baker's opposite.**

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This lot were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**'The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard -'**

**'- yes, their son, Harry - '**

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back to the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his moustache, thinking ... no he was being stupid."~**

"Well that's not a change." Harry said and everyone laughed.

**~"Potter wasn't such an unusual name."~**

"In the wizarding world it is." said Bill.

**~"He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew ****_was_**** called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold."~**

"He didn't even know your name!?" asked Narcissa incredulously. Harry shrugged in response.

**~"There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley, she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her - if ****_he'd_**** had a sister like that...-"~**

"Like what exactly?" Snarled Snape to the surprise of everyone but Albus.

**~"-but all the same, those people in cloaks ...**

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon, and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

**'Sorry,' he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realised that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passers-by stare: 'Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!'**

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off home, hoping he was imagining things, which he never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination."~**

"He doesn't approve of imagination!?" Cried out Sirius.

"Yeah, I learned quick enough not to... Well..." Harry trailed off.

"Professor?"

**~"As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw - and it didn't improve his mood - was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes."~**

Everyone looked accusingly at McGonagall.

She shrugged and motioned for Flitwick to read on.

**~"'Shoo!' said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

** The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look. Was this normal cat behaviour, Mr. Dursley wondered."~**

"No." Said McGonagall.

"But it's your normal behaviour." said George.

**~"Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

**Mrs. Dursley had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learnt a new word ('Shan't!'). Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living-room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:**

**'And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen during the daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern.' The news reader allowed himself a grin. 'Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?'**

**'Well Ted,' said the weatherman, 'I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early - it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight.'**

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...**

**Mrs. Dursley came into the living-room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously.**

**'Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?'**

**As he expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister."~**

"They what?!" Snarled Mrs. Weasley.

**~"'No.' she said sharply. 'Why?'**

**'Funny stuff on the news,' Mr. Dursley mumbled.**

**'Owls ... shooting stars ... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today ... '**

**_'So?_****' snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**'Well, I just thought ... maybe ... it was something to do with ... you know ... ****_her lot.'_****-"~**

"HER LOT!?" Everyone but Harry exclaimed.

**~"Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name 'Potter'. He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, 'Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?'**

**'I suppose so,' said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

**'What's his name again? Howard isn't it?'**

**'Harry. Nasty common name, if you ask me.'**

**'Oh yes,' said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. 'Yes I quite agree.' He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it was waiting for something.**

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did ... if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it.**

**The Dursleys got into bed."~**

"Ew!" said Fred, George, Ginny and Draco in unison.

"TMI!" Yelled Sirius.

**~"Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters ****_were_**** involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind ... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on. He yawned and turned over. It couldn't affect ****_them_**** ...**

**How very wrong he was.**

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed in the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen in Privet Drive. He was tall, thin and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, both of which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak which swept the ground and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his long was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realise that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realise he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, 'I should have known.'**

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter."~**

"A Deluminator" said Albus.

**~"He flicked it open, held it up in the air and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop. He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left in the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement.**

**Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street towards number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**'Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.'**

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the same shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**'How did you know it was me?' she asked.**

**'My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly.'**

**'You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day,' said Professor McGonagall."~**

"All day!?" asked Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. She nodded.

**~"'All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have lasses a dozen feasts and parties on my way here.'**

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily."~**

"Must you really act it out Mr. Longbottom?" McGonagall said, exasperated.

"You know it Professor." Neville said as he smirked, laughing on the Gryffindor bench.

**~"'Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right,' she said impatiently. 'You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no - even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news.' She jerked her head back at the Dursley's dark living-room window. 'I heard it. Flocks of owls ... shooting stars ... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense.'**

**'You can't blame them,' said Dumbledore gently. 'We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.'**

**'I know that,' said Professor McGonagall irritably.**

**'But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors.'**

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on:**

**'A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seemed to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out all about us all. I suppose he really ****_has_**** gone, Dumbledore?'**

**'It certainly seems so,' said Dumbledore. 'We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a sherbet lemon?'**

**'A ****_what?_****'**

**'A sherbet lemon. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of.'"~**

"Only you Professor." said Harry, laughing slightly. Sirius joined in and Ron shook his head a little.

**~"'No, thank you,' said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for sherbet lemons."~**

"Well it wasn't!" McGonagall exclaimed.

"Minnie, I think you just mortally offended Dumbledore here." said Sirius in a mock serious tone.

"Be quiet Mr. Black." McGonagall said.

**~"'As I say, even if You-Know-Who ****_has_**** gone -'**

**'My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: ****_Voldemort._****' Professor McGonagall flinched but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two sherbet lemons, seemed not to notice. 'It all gets so confusing of we keep saying 'You-Know-Who'.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name.'**

**'I know you haven't,' said Professor McGonagall, sounding half-exasperated, half-admiring. 'But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know - oh, all right, ****_Voldemort_**** - was frightened of.'"~**

"So true." Said Tonks.

"Thank you Nymp-" Dumbledore started but Tonks' hair turned a violent orangey red.

"Oh you're gonna get it Professor!" said Sirius happily.

"It's Tonks only." he continued.

"How do you know that? I've never met you."

"Andromeda was my favorite cousin." Sirius said. Tonks nodded and gestured for Neville to read on.

**~"'You flatter me,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'Voldemort had powers I will never have.'**

**'Only because you're too - well - ****_noble_**** to use them.'**

**'It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my earmuffs.'"~**

"EWWWWWWWWW!" Yelled all the teens, Sirius and Tonks.

"PROFESSOR! TOO MUCH INFORMATION! MY EARS!" Yelled Sirius.

Everyone but Snape laughed.

Dumbledore sighed and motioned for Neville to keep reading.

**~" Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, 'The owls are nothing to the ****_rumors_**** that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?'**

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman has she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever 'everyone' was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another sherbet lemon and did not answer.**

**'What they're ****_saying,_****' she pressed on, 'is that last night Voldemort went to find the Potters. The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are - are - that they're - ****_dead.'_****"~**

At hearing this Harry had gone very white and clenched his fist together. His gaze was fixed on his hands. Sirius noticed this and pulled him close. James and Lily gasped, clutching at Harry. Severus looked as though his world ended, wanting to comfort Lily, to make sure that she was still there. Lily seemed to notice and grasped his hand.

**~"Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped."~**

Everyone in the room seemed to tense up.

**~"'Lily and James ... I can't believe it ... I didn't want to believe it ... Ob, Albus ...'**

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. 'I know ... I know ...' he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. 'That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potters' son, Harry.-'"~**

At this, Lily and James tightened their hold on Harry.

**~"'But he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone.'**

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**'It's - it's ****_true?_****' faltered Professor McGonagall.**

**'After all he's done ... all the people he's killed ... he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding ... of all the things to stop him ... but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?'"~**

At this, the entire room but Dumbledore looked expectantly at Harry. He shrugged.

"I don't know, I think Dumbledore does, he won't tell me yet. I think the books will though." he looked down at his shoes.

**~"'We can only guess,' said Dumbledore. 'We may never know.'**

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It has twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, 'Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?'**

**'Yes,' said Professor McGonagall. 'And I don't suppose you're going to tell me ****_why_**** you're here, of all places?'**

**'I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now.'**

**'You don't mean - you ****_can't_**** mean the people who live ****_here?_****' cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and point at number four. 'Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. and they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets.'"~**

"He did WHAT?!" asked the Weasley children incredulously.

**~"'Harry Potter come and live here!'**

**'It's the best place for him,' said Dumbledore firmly. 'His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter.'"~**

"A letter!?" asked Remus.

"You can't explain that in a letter!" he said, getting slightly angry at his former professor.

**~"'A letter?' repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. 'Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He'll be famous'"~**

"Sadly." Harry said, shaking his head.

_"Potter doesn't like his fame?"_ thought Snape and Draco at the same time.

**~"' - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter Day in future '"~**

"Thank God it isn't!" Harry cried out hitting his head with a cushion.

This surprised Snape very much. He looked completely mortified at the thought of having a day celebrating him.

"Ugh! Why would I want a day all about what I lost!?" he said, leaning back into his parents.

Most in the room, in fact all but Dumbledore looked shocked at the mini- outburst.

**~"' - there will be books written about Harry - '"~**

"Do these count?" asked Harry.

"Doesn't matter, you're already in a bunch of others. Remember on the train?" said Hermione, smirking.

Harry groaned.

**~"' every child in our world will know his name!'**

**'Exactly,' said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses."~**

"Really you wanted to look like me Professor?" Sirius mocked. Dumbledore sighed.

**~"'It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember!-'"~**

"Actually I can remember bits. Searing pain and green light. Then his laugh... but that was at Hogwarts when I remembered that..." Harry said quietly, shivering at the memory of the high, cold laugh.

"You remember?" asked Remus. Tonks walked over and hit him with a cushion.

"Look." she muttered to him, as he looked very surprised.

Harry was pale and shivering. He tucked knees to his chest and circled his arms around them. He looked weak and vulnerable like that.

**~"'Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing away from all that until he's ready to take it?'"~**

At this Harry snorted a little. Sirius looked at him questioningly but Harry just gestured to the book.

**~" Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed and then said, 'Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?' She eyes his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

**'Hagrid's bringing him.'**

**'You think it - ****_wise_**** - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?'**

**'I would trust Hagrid with my life,' said Dumbledore.**

**'I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place,' said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, 'but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?'**

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorbike fell out of the air and landed on the road of them.**

**If the motorbike was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so ****_wild_**** - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard his most of his face, he had hands the size of dustbin lids and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets."~**

"Aww!" cooed all the women in the room. Harry blushed a furious red.

"You were a cute baby Harry, what happened?" teased Hermione.

"How would you know? Or are you assuming?" asked Harry cheekily. She blushed a little and glared at him.

"Hey that's my motorbike!" Sirius cried out excited.

"We know Mr. Black." said Professor McGonagall.

**~"'Hagrid,' said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. 'At last. And where did you get that motorbike?'**

**'Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir,' said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorbike as he spoke."~**

"Well he's only half-giant." said Hermione.

"Really? He's part giant? I just thought... Well I dunno what I thought..." Harry said.

"Is he ostracized for it?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I read in 'Differences' that some half-giants were prejudiced against in... I think 1976."

"You read that!?" asked Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Remus at the same time.

"Yeah why? It was really interesting, but it is completely unfair how wizards believe they're superior. It's like we are all like those overly purebloods, but with different species not bloodlines."

All the adults in the room stared at him.

"What?" he asked at their puzzled expressions.

"Harry, it takes a wizard with a completely open-mind and no feeling of superiority to read that book and give such an honest review of it. It is unheard of for a wizard so young to read it. How old were you when you did?" said Remus.

"I bought it my first time at Diagon Ally, so when I just turned eleven."

Everyone stared.

"Can we just continue?" asked Harry, clearly uncomfortable.

**~"'Young Sirius Black lent it me. I've got him, sir.'**

**'No problems, were there?'**

**'No, sir - house was almost destroyed but I got him out all right before the**

**Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flying over Bristol.'**

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning."~**

As if on reflex Harry patted down his fringe to cover the mark. Several people had glanced up at it as it was described.

"I hate when people do that. Who wants to have a constant reminder of your loss on your face? Looking in the mirror and seeing it..." Harry trailed off and shook his head.

**~"'Is that where - ?' whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes,' said Dumbledore. 'He'll have that scar forever.'**

**'Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?'**

**'Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in useful. I have one myself above my left knee which is a perfect map of the London Underground.-'"~**

"TMI!" Shouted Bill.

**~"'Well give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with.'**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned towards the Dursley's house.**

**'Could I - could I say goodbye to him, sir?' asked Hagrid.**

**He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog."~**

"I'm offended." said Sirius with mock-hurt.

**~"'Shhh!' hissed Professor McGonagall. 'You'll wake the Muggles!'**

**'S-s-sorry,' sobbed Hagrid, takin out a large spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it.**

**'But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry odd ter live with Muggles -'**

**'Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself Hagrid, or we'll be found,' Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked up to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously and the twinkling light that usually shown from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

**'Well,' said Dumbledore finally, 'that's that. We may as well go and join the celebrations.'**

**'Yeah,' said Hagrid in a very muffled voice. 'I'd best get this bike away. G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir.'**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself on to the motorbike and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**'I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall,' said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**'Good Luck, Harry,' he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak he was gone.**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous,-"~**

"Ugh I wish it stayed that way." Harry groaned. He really did hate his fame.

"Hate to break it to you Harrykins but you're famous. Deal with it." said the twins. He glared at the nickname.

**~"-not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's**

**scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley ... He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: 'To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!'"~**

"They didn't actually say that did they?" Harry asked.

Remus nodded.

Author's Note:  
Okay, sorry it's been so friggin long. My apologies. I know this chapter sucks.

Skywriter :(


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